HOW WWE SHOULD BOOK...: January 2022

Hey everyone! Ever since Night Of Champions 2015, through multiple accounts, before major WWE pay-per-views every month, I’ve come on here and booked the cards to make them as exciting, intriguing, and best possible scenarios for the future. I do both NXT and main-roster pay-per-views, as well as the occasional big milestone RAW or Smackdown weekly show. Without further ado, here is how WWE should book Royal Rumble 2022!

> MY ROYAL RUMBLE PPV POSTS OF PREVIOUS YEARS:

> MAIN SHOW

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1… JOHN CENA RETURNS IN 2008. AJ STYLES DEBUTS IN 2016. EDGE RETURNS IN 2020. THE SURPRISES. Mr. Perfect (2002), Carlito (2021), MVP (2020) Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka (2008), Diesel, or Booker T (2011). THE DEBUTS. THE RETURNS. THAT “Anything can happen” FEELING. The Road To Wrestlemania is finally here. We’ve all made it. The biggest few months in all of wrestling are about to kick off. The countdown. The returns. The surprises. The debuts. The shock. The awe. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE.

1ST MATCH: 2022 Women’s Royal Rumble Match

IT IS NOW TIME TO REVEAL THE SUPERSTARS WHO DREW #1, and #2. LET’S GET THE LADIES READY TO RUMBLE.
1 is LITA! Unlucky draw. She seems to be coming back for an extended run and I’m buzzing about that. It starts off here. First time in the short history of the women’s Rumble, that a legend/HOF’er is starting off within the first two. Got it? Now let’s multiply that shit x2.
2 is TRISH STRATUS! The two women who started it all for what would in the future become the Women’s Revolution.. at the first Women’s Rumble back in front of fans, Lita and Trish start off once and for all. One final time, to start off the 2022 Women’s Royal Rumble match, as a treat, we get Lita and Trish going at it, last time ever. One on one. The bell rings and we’re off! We get traditional wrestling to start off. Lita and Trish Stratus don’t exhaust everything early. Lockups, and then they quickly transition to teasing some of their more signature moves on each other, getting everything they can in to pop the crowd before their time alone ends with the first countdown entrant coming in. Lita hits a Spear on Trish Stratus, knocking her down. Lita makes it high risk early as she goes up top to hit a Moonsault, but Trish capitalizes and goes for that move (I think it’s called the Stratusfaction?) where she balances on the rope and hurricanrana the opponent to the mat. Lita kicks her away, and comes off now with a crossbody to Trish. Stratus rolls through though, and has Lita in her grasp, getting up to one knee, and then all the way up with her. Trish goes for a powerbomb but Lita gets off and lands on her feet; Lita tries for a Twist of Fate, but Trish reverses and gets ahold of Lita’s head now; Trish goes for the bulldog from jumping off the ropes, but Lita blocks that too. Lita and Trish now run each other off the ropes but come to a standstill, proving that they still have an answer for every one of each other’s moves, even all these years later. The countdown clock appears, preparing us for our next entrant, as Lita and Trish continue to go at it, with strikes now.
3 is NATALYA! She’s coming in third for what is becoming a veterans standoff; Lita, Trish and Natalya, all in the same ring. We get a three-way dance between them at this point, and at one point, with both Natalya and Trish being Canadian, they take turns locking in the Sharpshooter on Lita in the middle of the ring. Natalya locks it in first to wear Lita down, and the crowd boos. Trish shoves Natalya off, smiles and then locks it on Lita herself, to a big crowd pop. Natalya is pissed that Trish thinks she can do it better than the actual Hart herself, and Natalya takes Trish’s head off with a big spinning clothesline, before delivering a “YAAAAAAA” to the audience with her arms thrown up in the air. The three women continue to go at it and tease eliminations, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
4 is NAOMI! The… eh.. (what nicknames does she have?) innovator of GLOW comes out fourth for her big shine moment, in there with all the long-time veterans. Naomi certainly in relatively early with a shout at being the iron-woman of this year’s match. What are her chances? Will she get her big save this year? Will Sonya Deville come in at some point to cost her? The answers to all of these questions will be answered, as you keep reading on! Naomi doesn’t waste time doing the slide as a part of her entrance while on the ramp, instead running down to the ring and doing said slide as she enters the ring, ducking an attempted double clothesline by Lita and Trish. Natalya is stunned on the other side of the ring against the ropes, and Naomi looks to make a moment for herself by immediately throwing out Nattie. She slides under the double clothesline, and then rolls back up flipping onto her feet, and DROPKICKS NATALYA OVER THE TOP ROPE, but she hangs on. Naomi goes wild as the crowd is, and initiates her 2K comeback on all 3 of the women’s legends in the ring. Naomi here, looking to pave her way to legend status for herself. She’s taking it to Lita, Trish and Natalya! Naomi hits split-legged moonsault on both Lita and Trish, and then goes to hit her ASS-BASED OFFENSE (she calls it the “Rear View”, shouts Michael Cole), on Natalya, but Natalya counters and catches her around the waist for a German Suplex, putting a lid on Naomi’s dominance for the moment. Natalya, the lone heel in the ring at this point, goes to stomp on all 3 other women in the ring, and tries to eliminate Lita over the top rope, before the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
5 is SHOTZI! Just as was the case for Naomi, here comes Shotzi at fifth for the same big shine moment, being in there with all the big names like Lita, Trish and Nattie. Elevate her as most you can, get in there spots with Shotzi and Naomi taking it to the more established names to get them over. We are already 5 entrants in, a 1/6 of the way through, and still no eliminations as of yet. To recap, we’ve got Lita and Trish starting off at #1 and #2 respectively in a cool nostalgic moment, Natalya in at 3 for a veterans standoff, and then Naomi in and Shotzi in afterward for their moments to shine in there with big names. All 5 women tease eliminations on each other, but none are successful yet. In a moment of the new-wave dominance, we get Naomi hitting the Split Legged Moonsault on Natalya simultaneously, as Shotzi comes off the top for a Ballpit Senton on both Lita and Trish at the same time. The legends are laid out and left for dead as Shotzi and Naomi then go at it to see which of the modern day/age women can make the first headline of the match. Shotzi and Naomi go at it, with Lita/Trish/Natalya recovering in the corners, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
6 is TAMINA! How exciting, and the crowd goes mild as well to show their appreciation. She enters the ring and delivers headbutts to the 5 suckers in the ring before her. Tamina hits a barrage of Superkicks and samoan drops. She poses in the center of the ring, but doesn’t see Trish and Lita behind her. They rise up from behind on the hard cam, and before Tamina can turn around, they both grab a hold of Tamina and go to team up to eliminate the monster over the top, but Tamina manages to overpower them, grabs a hold of both of their heads, and bonks them together. Lita and Trish are down, and Naomi goes to reconcile with Tamina, reminding her of their days as Team B.A.D., but Tamina does not oblige. It’s every woman for herself. Tamina hoists Naomi up on her shoulders and it looks like Naomi’s night could be over early, but Naomi hangs on as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
7 is SHAYNA BASZLER! Shayna comes in at seventh and dominates but doesn’t eliminate anyone yet. Shayna gets ahold of everyone who runs at her and chokes them out of life with the Kirifuda Clutch. Shayna goes at it with everyone, taking them out with strikes until the two biggest women in the match, Shayna and Tamina, meet in the middle. They go out it like it’s Godzilla vs. Kong. Tamina takes out Shayna with a Superkick, and then goes up to the top rope to call out for a Superfly Splash, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
8 is DANA BROOKE! Tamina is still up there, and was about to squash Shayna Baszler’s skeleton with the splash, until she heard the first note of Dana Brooke’s music, and now there’s new blood in her future. Dana comes out and flexes to the crowd, and walks to the ring. She stops suddenly in her tracks when she sees Tamina eyeing the 24/7 Championship title around her waist; I admit it would be funny if Tamina is so consumed by fear and anger and hatred to get the 24/7 Title that she jumps down off the top rope to the floor and chases Dana Brooke, eliminating herself, and causing Dana to never even get into the match, but I’m not with that shit. Instead, Tamina shifts her attention from Shayna, hops down off the top rope, exits through the middle rope, and begins to chase Dana Brooke around the ringside area. Dana/Tamina chase 24/7 garbage ensues with R-Truth who is confused and thinks he’s in the Men’s Rumble, slides into the ring with a mic as Dana and Tamina are still on the chase through the crowd, and Truth mistakes Shayna for The Undertaker. Dana runs from Tamina through the crowd at one point and Dana comes back, hopping the barricade, and sensing she has nowhere else to go, slides into the ring. Truth is still in there. Tamina follows Dana back in. Shayna Baszler decides it’s about time to put a stop to this madness, and decides it’s goodbye nappy time as she chokes Truth out, sends him flying over the top rope, chokes Dana Brooke out, and ragdolls Brooke over the top rope for the first elimination, as she is caught by Truth and they both hit the ground, and then puts an end to the 24/7 chase completely as she then chokes out Tamina too, dumping her over the top. It took up until the first 8 entrants of the match to get an elimination but we’ve just gotten two by Shayna Baszler, who clearly has no time for 24/7 Title nonsense. After the eliminations, Lita, Trish, Natalya, Naomi and Shotzi all take turns going it at Shayna. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
9 is LACEY EVANS! Another one of the first big surprise entrants/returns after Trish in this match so far! Lacey is back after giving birth. Like a Lady. Or whatever. She hit’s Women’s Rights, and a few lefts. Lacey and Natalya decide to team up, being the heels, and with their history of being the two included in the first women’s match in Saudi Arabia. The Too-Blonde Power-Trip as I’m now calling them, run wild, and try to take out everyone. We get some team spots with Lita and Trish against Lacey and Natalya. We get some more moments of Shayna dominance, and then Nomi and Shotzi continue to get their stuff in there to raise their stock as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
10 is BRIE BELLA! One half of the Bella Twins, pre-announced in a field of legends which was a very weird move by WWE, still. We are now into the double digits of entry numbers, and 1/3 of the way through this match and the field. BRIIIIIEEEE MOOODDDDEEEEEE, and her horrible singles theme music blasts over the speakers of the venue as she makes her way out to the ring. We are at number 10 now, so as of this moment, we’ve got Lita, Trish, Natalya, Naomi, Shotzi, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans and now Brie Bella in the ring. Just an overview check. Brie runs wild with Yes Kicks on everyone. More teased eliminations but to no avail, as the women all get their shit in before the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
11 is MICHELLE MCCOOL! The wife of The Undertaker but PLEASE NO UNDERTAKER IN THE MEN’S RUMBLE FOR GOD'S SAKE I HOPE THAT VERY DEAD MAN IS ONLY HERE IN SUPPORT OF HIS WIFE. McCool goes at it with the other women in the ring as the ring is starting to really fill up now, but don’t worry. An equalizer is coming in there soon to get herself back on track to where she should be. Keep reading on
12 is NIKKI A.S.H.! For some reason, even though the act with her and Rhea has been broken up and she remains as a heel, she has the same superhero attire as when she was a babyface. It’s not too much different. Now, we’ve got one half of the Bella Twins, and one recent half of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Nikki A.S.H. in there. Brie’s sister has said that if she wins, she’ll be the first one to stick it to both Women’s singles champions, and will elect to go on and challenge for the Women’s Tag titles at Mania as The Bella Twins. Let’s see how this pans out. A.S.H. and Brie is the main focus in the center of the ring in fact, as other attempted eliminations occur in the corners and against the ropes, and the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
13 is CARMELLA! Balloons carry her to the ring, as speaking of the devil, here comes a CURRENT half of the Women’s Tag Team Champions. This will all play into each other before long. Mella, ASH and Brie all entangle in a trifecta over people associated with the Women’s Tag scene or the titles themselves. Still only eliminations in the match so far belong to Shayna, who’s tossed out Dana and Tamina after putting an end to the shenanigans of the 24/7 division. Lita, Trish Stratus, Natalya, Naomi, Shotzi, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans, Brie Bella, Michelle McCool, and now Carmella all go at it, as the ring is filling up steadily. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
14 is SUMMER RAE! She’s back! Her and Natalya immediately go at it as a result of the recent twitter drama, which is dating all the way back to their infamous segment on Total Divas… or Bellas… I don't watch. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant. Ring getting so full.
15 is NIKKI BELLA! Both Bella twins have entered in there now, and they have a faceoff with The Besties of Lita and Trish Stratus. This is the big standoff we were waiting for. The main focus until our countdown clock next appears is The Bella Twins vs. Lita and Trish in a bunch of tag team spots, until it’s time for our next entrant.
16 is QUEEN ZELINA! She comes in and now it’s Women’s Tag Teams central. We’ve got Lita and Trish united in there, The Bella Twins, and now with Zelina’s entry, the two Women’s Tag Team Champions. We get the main focus continuing on those three tag teams, (also, to include Toxic Attraction out there, at some point in this match could come out and attack either Mella/Zelina, Funkadactyls or Bellas. Cause have literally no teams for NXT Women’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic, and to set up an excuse to get some of them down there for it. Also no room for a Toxic Attraction, maybe Cora Jade/Raquel or Io comes out to make the save otherwise.) and still no eliminations more as of yet. Zelina and Mella end up ganging up on Nikki A.S.H. as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant…
17 is RHEA RIPLEY! Here is where we completely do a 180 on this woman. Here is where she gets rehabilitated. Here is where she lives up to the absolute beastly potential she has because she could literally lift Brock Lesnar and hit a Riptide on him if she wanted to. Rhea Ripley is the next Chyna of this company waiting in the palm of your hands and her booking and positioning has largely been so bungled. What great timing, too. Just as the current heel women’s tag team champions, who took the title from Rhea and the woman they’re currently ganging up on in the corner Nikki A.S.H, Rhea must now make a choice and come in to save her. A huge series of events and a wave of eliminations now takes place. Ripley plows over Mella and Zelina. Summer Rae and Natalya now, in another feud from earlier in the match, has completely broken down now, as they have a hold of each other and are trying to tip each other over the top rope, as they scrap. Rhea Ripley takes advantage and dumps them both over. Natalya and Summer Rae continue to fight up the ramp, but Natalya gets the best of it and slams Summer on the steel edge of the ramp. The Bellas eliminate Carmella and Queen Zelina, to get future Tag Titles opportunity. This is immediately followed up by Rhea Ripley eliminating both the Bella Twins by herself, and then Nikki A.S.H. celebrates and pretends to hug Rhea like they’re reuniting as a team to help her own bottom line, but Rhea grabs a hold of Nikki and throws her out also. Rhea has the Diesel 1994 Rumble match role in this match.
18 is ALIYAH! Natalya is out by now but she can come back and attack Aliyah from behind. Revenge for the Guiness World Record Quick Victory, Sharpshooter injures her legs outside the ring, then Natalya sends Aliyah into the ring to be made quick work of by Rhea Ripley for another elimination. At this point, the ring consists of Lita, Trish Stratus, Naomi, Shotzi, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans, Michelle McCool, and Rhea Ripley. Shayna and Rhea go at it as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
19 is KELLY KELLY! Yeah, what do you think happens here? Kelly Kelly gets into the ring, she’s clotheslined by Rhea out of there, and she leaves the ring. Kelly Kelly, what a waste of a spot that could be going to someone in NXT. I’m sure she’s a nice gal, though. Lita and Trish Stratus now grab a hold of Shotzi and eliminate her, just to ensure that each of them have gained at least an elimination. I have no further plans for Shotzi in this match and to be honest she probably shouldn’t have been in here up to this point as long as she has, but at least she’s had a nice performance where she hopefully got some moves in. Lita and Trish share one elimination at least a piece now, and there is no shame for Shotzi in getting thrown out by those two legends. From this point, Shayna and Rhea go at it and Michelle McCool gets in the middle of them. Bad idea. Get ‘em gone, Michelle McCool is outta there at both of their hands.
20 is the current IMPACT! Wrestling Knockouts Champion MICKIE JAMES! Hopefully with the title around her waist, and Hardcore Country playing as the theme song, but knowing WWE they’ll probably promise her all these things and then as she’s about to go through the curtain, ask her to hand the title to Bruce, hit her old WWE music, and then give her a black trash bag to wear, with holes cut out for the head, arms and legs. Like we got with Natalya earlier, we get some moments with Mickie James, and Trish and Lita to relive the olden days. We are now 2/3 of the way through the match, and in the ring currently are Lita, Trish Stratus, Naomi, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans, Rhea Ripley and Mickie James. The women all go at it as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
21 is ASUKA! The Empress of Tomorrow is back, after having been cleared recently. Trust me, these final ten are about to get wild. Big guns coming out in the final stages here. That’s a promise; Asuka and Mickie relive their history from Toronto’s Takeover, and beyond. We get teased eliminations, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
22 is CAMERON! Then, a Piper/Snuka level moment from ‘08 where the absolute legends, Cameron and Melina come out back to back.
23 is MELINA! Hey, I’m not necessarily thrilled about including these last two, but I have to if they were confirmed to be in the match by ol’ Sean Ross Fightful of Sapp dot com. Cameron has a moment reuniting The Funkadactyls with Naomi, who is still in at this point from #4, and is by far the Ironwoman of this year’s match. Like I said earlier, if NXT 2.0 are just absolutely desperate for teams, this could stem into The Funkadactyls being used for the Women’s Dusty Classic. Hey, they released everyone else, so this can’t be any worse. Asuka, Trish, Lita, Rhea, Shayna and Mickie all take turns going at it as Naomi and Cameron try to eliminate the others. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
24 is BIANCA BELAIR! Shayna has had her running-wild moment with all the eliminations, then Rhea even more so, now here’s Bianca again to clear out the ring. Bianca Belair wastes no time eliminating Melina and then Cameron. Keeping in Lacey for a moment later, and Lita, Trish, Mickie etc. for others to eliminate later. In the ring now are Lita, Trish, Naomi, Shayna, Lacey, Rhea, Mickie, Asuka and Bianca. Bianca is taking it to everyone in the ring, as she stands tall until the countdown clock appears, and out comes…
25 is BAYLEY! Big return pop. Let me be completely transparent; she’s been looking like she’s on track to return by this time from her injury, but if not, stick Sasha Banks in this spot if she’s ready, and it’ll work exactly the same. But I think this is Bayley’s night. Bayley capitalizes and immediately goes in there to eliminate the #2 entrant, Trish Stratus. BIG First impression back. Bayley tries to follow up by eliminating Lita, but Lita survives. Bayley and Asuka go at it as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
26 is LIV MORGAN! Big first entrant after Bayley comeback, looks like she has a chance. Liv goes wild, hitting ObLivion on everyone. She has to get a good showing in this match as well. Some eliminations have got to take place before our next entrant so that the focus is solely on what happens there. That being said, I’ve got no more plans for Mickie James in the match after this, so she gets kicked in the head, and then eliminated by Asuka. Shayna Baszler is eliminated by Liv Morgan, and then Asuka is eliminated by Liv Morgan. Liv Morgan is on a tear, she just eliminated Asuka! This should shoot her stock to the moon in her chances to win. Out next is one of Liv’s real life best friends, though… and Naomi’s worst enemy. Liv and Naomi are going at it now and Naomi hits a Rear View on Liv, setting up Naomi to be standing tall and dominating, just as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant and it’s none other than…
27 is SONYA DEVILLE! Of course, Sonya, abusing her powers once again, has granted herself not only an entry in the Women’s Royal Rumble match, but THE most statistically winningest spot in history, 27. Sonya goes to eliminate Naomi, and turns around in celebration thinking she did, but no, Naomi hangs on, turns back around, ELIMINATES SONYA DEVILLE TO HUGE GRATIFYING PAYOFF POP. Sonya is pissed, overuses and abuses GM authority powers, goes back in, beats down Naomi and eliminates her. Match and feud continues there to Mania, big Sonya/Naomi moment there some way, somehow. After the Naomi/Sonya controversy subsides, maybe even having referees and Adam Pearce run down and threaten Sonya’s job right then and there, the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
28 is ALEXA BLISS! She comes down, as normal goddess Alexa. Why? Because end this Fiend shit. In the ring now, with two entrants left, are Lita, Lacey Evans, Rhea Ripley, Bianca Belair, Bayley, Liv Morgan, and Alexa Bliss. The women all go at it and tease eliminations as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
29 is CHARLOTTE FLAIR! Charlotte the big heel getting the unfair advantage after entering the match as SmackDown Women’s Champion, like a BITCH. A JEZEBEL. Entering super late, creates doubt and worry in the minds of the fans that she would win, (by the way, I really like this every once in a while thing of the champions declaring themselves and entering in the Rumble, and like the G1, if the champion wins, they get to pick their own challenger at WK, or in this case, of course, WWE’s MOST STUPENDOUS event of the year, WrestleMania.) Charlotte takes her time walking in and eliminates Lacey Evans, as they spend a minute calling back to the Ric Flair is horny for Lacey Evans storyline. Charlotte quickly gets her first elimination as payback on Lacey. Welcome back, Mrs. Evans, but goodbye for now. Alexa Bliss is eliminated by Charlotte next, but you can wait until after #30 comes in for that. Either way, Charlotte is working on getting Alexa out of the ring, as the countdown clock appears for our thirtieth and final entrant.
30 is PAIGE! You all know it, she’s been teasing it for months, the speculation has been running rampant, Paige is back, even if just for one night! She takes all the time in the world soaking up the reaction of the crowd, and Charlotte has dumped Alexa around this time. From here, Charlotte does something to continue the angle they’ve been building with Lita; Lita gets the massive shock elimination on Charlotte in quick fashion, Charlotte goes back in there and beats the brakes off Lita and eliminates her herself. This leads to Lita/Charlotte in Saudi Arabia, which I’ll have my full card for the Chamber PPV for at the end of this post. I think Mania shouldn’t have this match, it should be more reserved for today’s current and future stars. So let’s build up Lita vs. Charlotte for the title to blowoff at Elimination Chamber in Saudi.
FINAL 5: Bayley, Liv, Rhea, Bianca, Paige; Liv eliminates Paige for big rub moment eliminating the big returnee. Liv is shining in this moment
THE FINAL FOUR IN THE 2022 WOMEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE LIV MORGAN, RHEA RIPLEY, BIANCA BELAIR AND BAYLEY. After yet another star-making performance from Liv, she is ultimately thrown out, getting Bayley-To-Bellied over the top rope for the elimination by Bayley.
THE FINAL THREE IN THE 2022 WOMEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE RHEA RIPLEY, BIANCA BELAIR AND BAYLEY. Bianca goes to eliminate Rhea by hitting a KOD over the top rope, announce table side, but Rhea hangs on. Bianca goes to hit her again but Rhea powers her over with her. We get an exact replica recreation moment of the ending of last year’s Women’s 2021 royal rumble match with Rhea and Bianca both hanging on to the bottom rope, feet dangling above the floor, just like the ending of last year. This time Bianca gets the right shot to knock Rhea off, she’s eliminated.
I would’ve typed THE FINAL TWO IN THE 2022 WOMEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE BAYLEY AND BIAN- but before I could even finish typing that, before you could even say Bianca Belair’s name, Bayley is right in there.. We just got a replication of last year’s ending with Bianca eliminating Rhea this time in the same exact position, however, UNLIKE last year, the callback fails for Bianca when Bayley takes advantage and body blocks Bianca off the apron to the floor eliminated. Bayley wins, a callback to their feud that never truly had an end when they were supposed to have the I Quit match at MITB. Now, Bayley ends it here and wraps that loose end up. Can have Bayley and Bianca one last match to properly seal off the feud on RAW, but Bianca and Rhea eliminated each other in last spot so that's what really matters and leads to a bigger story and grudge match for the women at mania. Bayley eventually goes on to pick Becky Lynch for the match at Mania, because I really want that explored and that’s the one variation of 4 Horsewomen feuds that hasn’t really gotten the chance to happen on a big stage yet. I’ll have my WrestleMania 38 card as of the ending of this show at the end of the post, but spoiler alert, two matches on there will be Becky Lynch vs. Bayley for the RAW Women’s Championship, and Bianca Belair vs. Rhea Ripley in a massive women’s singles grudge match. Bayley was ready to rumble on this night. DING DONG HELLO

Bayley (#25) won the 2022 Women’s Royal Rumble match by last eliminating Bianca Belair

QUICK MATCH SUMMARY RESULTS TABLE:

Entry #	Entrant	Order Eliminated	Eliminated By	Eliminations achieved	Brand
1	Lita	25	Charlotte Flair	2	Free Agent
2	Trish Stratus	16	Bayley	1	Free Agent
3	Natalya	4	Rhea Ripley	0	SmackDown
4	Naomi	21	Sonya Deville	1	SmackDown
5	Shotzi	12	Lita and Trish Stratus	0	SmackDown
6	Tamina	2	Shayna Baszler	0	RAW
7	Shayna Baszler	18	Liv Morgan	3	SmackDown
8	Dana Brooke	1	Shayna Baszler	0	RAW
9	Lacey Evans	22	Charlotte Flair	0	Undrafted
10	Brie Bella	7	Rhea Ripley	1	Free Agent
11	Michelle McCool	13	Rhea Ripley and Shayna Baszler	0	Free Agent
12	Nikki A.S.H.	9	Rhea Ripley	0	RAW
13	Carmella	6	The Bella Twins	0	RAW
14	Summer Rae	3	Rhea Ripley	0	Free Agent
15	Nikki Bella	8	Rhea Ripley	1	Free Agent
16	Queen Zelina	5	The Bella Twins	0	RAW
17	Rhea Ripley	28	Bianca Belair	8	RAW
18	Aliyah	10	Rhea Ripley	0	SmackDown
19	Kelly Kelly	11	Rhea Ripley	0	Free Agent
20	Mickie James	17	Asuka	0	IMPACT! Wrestling
21	Asuka	19	Liv Morgan	1	Undrafted
22	Cameron	15	Bianca Belair	0	Free Agent
23	Melina	14	Bianca Belair	0	Free Agent
24	Bianca Belair	29	Bayley	2	RAW
25	Bayley (or Sasha Banks)	WINNER	N/A	3	Undrafted
26	Liv Morgan	27	Bayley	3	RAW
27	Sonya Deville	20	Naomi	1	Dual-Brand; GM
28	Alexa Bliss	23	Charlotte Flair	0	RAW
29	Charlotte Flair	24	Lita	3	SmackDown (Women's Champion)
30	Paige	26	Liv Morgan	0	Free Agent

2ND MATCH: Beth Phoenix and Edge vs. Maryse and The Miz (Mixed Tag Team match)

The Miz and Maryse are out first, followed by Edge and Beth Phoenix. The match gets 10 minutes. It needs nothing more. God forbid, if Maryse can handle it, you can distribute 5 minutes evenly for both genders in the ring. We do not need this feud at all anymore and this is a waste of the limited time Edge has left. END IT. NOW. They get all their shit in that they want to, and the finish of the match comes when, like in every trope where there’s a couple vs. couple mixed tag, all 4 are in the ring and the babyfaces hook in their finishers to end up hitting a Double simultaneous Glam Slam to Maryse and Spear to The Miz, as the ref does a double counted pin/cover with two hands. SPOILER ALERT: Move Edge onto AJ Styles for WrestleMania season. That’s the type of match that gains attention.

WINNERS by PINFALL: Beth Phoenix and Edge

3RD MATCH: Becky Lynch (c) vs. Doudrop (Singles match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship)

Doudrop is out first followed by the RAW Women’s Champion, Becky Lynch. The match gets 8 minutes. I know it’s not only me who just doesn’t buy Doudrop as a challenger, and her booking has been so wonky since Eva Marie got released again, but she turned heel and kept the name anyways, and…. ahhhh. There’s no reason this match needs to go any longer with an uninteresting challenger that no one buys to win, in a match that is sure to be heatless due to bad booking, and there’s no reason Becky Lynch needs to struggle to beat a Doudrop this close to WrestleMania even despite her immense size. Doudrop gets a little bit in and we get those hope spots to pop the crowd but ultimately, after working the match around teasing the spot of Becky lifting Doudrop off her feet and multiple times unsuccessfully hitting the Manhandle Slam (dollar store Rock Bottom), Becky, the heel that she is, rakes the eyes of Doudrop and then musters all the strength in her body to hit the Manhandle Slam, and just to make sure that can’t kick out, she enacts the same method she’s used to cheat in recent months by putting her feet up on the ropes for the leverage. Move on from Doudrop now. Let’s get Becky in there feuding with some S-T-A-R-S for the lead-in to Mania season.

WINNER by PINFALL and STILL WWE RAW Women’s Champion: Becky Lynch

4TH MATCH: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Seth Rollins (Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship; The Usos are BANNED from ringside)

After an extensive video package going over the history of the Rollins/Reigns relationship, dating back to FCW, through to The Shield, into the breakup, to their many PPV singles matches on PPV, through to the Shield reunions of 2017-2019, up until now. This match was very much a victim of circumstance. Think about it, Reigns got the most fortunately timed case of COVID-19 possible. If not for that night that all plans changed at Day 1, we wouldn’t be getting Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley for the first time ever, and we wouldn’t have gotten Rollins coming over to SmackDown for a feud with Roman that is sure to play off the long history between the two and culminate in another classic match. And you can be sure, before anything, that I’m going to incorporate that Spear-into-Pedigree spot that they do in all their matches, tonight here. Seth Rollins out first, Maybe you can even get Seth coming out in Shield gear, just to fuck with Roman's head that little bit more. followed by Roman Reigns, the Universal Champion. The boys are given between 20-25 minutes. Stick within that allotted time, but leave it to them pros to finish off telling their story of the match without worrying about a rush job.. The match begins and it’s very story-driven. We get callbacks of all sorts during the match, not only between the two, but to moments of both men’s Rumble PPV past, such as in 2015 when Rollins hit the splash through the announce table to Lesnar, which he does to Roman here FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE IN THE RING. I think this is the match where we see the return of 2014 Shield uber-athletico Seth. He’s gonna go crazy in this. This could be the match of the night and I can’t wait. As well as that splash from the top rope to Roman through the announce desk for a massive near-fall, we get Roman Reigns tying-up Rollins arms up in the ropes, facing the hard-cam side. In a callback to the moment of June 2nd, 2014, when THE SHIELD IMPLODES, and Reigns delivers charishots to scar the back of Rollins as the aggressive heel; this could be kind of a payback moment for The Shield’s original breakup moment, when everything was ignited by ROLLINS first hitting REIGNS with the chair, as Deanjon Moxbrose watched on in horror and disbelief. Or, maybe you could theoretically reverse the roles here and have Rollins tie-up Reigns in the ropes and deliver the battering chair shots to the back, but it wouldn’t really make too much sense for Rollins, who has been working babyface in this feud and will be in this match also, to deliver chairshots to the top heel star of your company in such a compromising position of advantage for the babyface. That ain’t how ring psychology should work. Ultimately, after an absolute war, a banger, a barnstormer, a classic, a slobberknocker, a struggle, a MATCH to end all the matches, the finish comes when Rollins is making his big shine comeback near the end. In another spot that often happens in Reigns/Rollins matches, Seth sends Roman into the corner with a Buckle Bomb, but Reigns EXPLODES RIGHT BACK OUT OF THE CORNER WITH A SUPERMAN PUNCH, knocking Rollins off base. Roman goes to the corner. We get an OOOOOOOOOHHHAHHHHHHH, for old times sake. In a cool ass finish idea for this match that I’ve had in mind for weeks, the Tribal Chief charges forward for the Spear, but he’s got Rollins scouted; he’s watched tape of their previous matches; he knows exactly what’s coming next; he knows Rollins’ next move. He’s seen this before. He’s too smart. Roman Reigns, always one step ahead. Just like when we’ve seen AJ Styles faking out Randy Orton in the past where he springs up to the top rope teasing the Phenomenal Forearm, but he fakes out Orton who takes a phantom bump thinking he’s going to catch AJ right in his grasp for the RKO, Roman charges ahead for a spear to Rollins, BUT ROMAN REIGNS STOPS SUDDENLY IN HIS TRACKS. SETH ROLLINS FLIES UP INTO THE AIR, EXPECTING TO NAIL A PEDIGREE, BUT EXPECTATION DOES NOT MATCH REALITY. Rollins comes crashing down on his knees, completely stunned and paralyzed frozen, and Roman Reigns immediately takes advantage by lurching forward, locking Rollins into his Guillotine Choke. Rollins flops like a fish, tries to get out several times, but Reigns sinches it in tighter and tighter. Rollins teases tapping out, and maybe he does end up tapping, but here, if you want to solidify him as this babyface turn continues, we get the old passout spot from Rollins as Reigns retains the title. The ol’ Spear from Roman into the mid-air Pedigree from Rollins spot did not go as planned for Rollins this time, as Reigns knew exactly what he was going to do. Reigns took advantage and didn’t make the same mistake once again. Now, Roman Reigns can finally say he beat Seth Rollins. Now, Seth Rollins can finally hold that over his head. And still, the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the Needle Mover, is WWE Champion of the Universe. Let me be honest for a second: WWE, if you or anyone else reading this has any thoughts, any smidge of an inkling about Roman Reigns NOT remaining Universal Champion until he faces The Rock, you are an imbecile. This match wasn’t even supposed to happen. There were no plans for this match a month ago. Rollins isn’t gonna be the one to beat Roman. And Roman should hold onto that title until he faces The Rock at Mania 39 in LA in 2023. Why not continue to build a dynasty? Reigns can now say he defeated Rollins and he can add that to his accolades. There is NO reason that Roman should be losing this title anytime soon. There are some changes that are going to be made if I’m in charge running things. Roman is going on to face the winner of the WWE Championship match up next, either Lesnar or Lashley, at WrestleMania 38:Night 1. You main event Night 1 of WrestleMania with a title unification match, Roman Reigns, the Universal Champion, vs. the WWE Champion. Roman Reigns wins. One world champion across two shows. Appearing on both RAW on USA and SmackDown on FOX. This is not a problem and don’t listen to anyone who says it is. You don’t think USA would be thrilled to have Roman Reigns on RAW, and vice versa? Back in the day, RAW used to be a continuation of the events of SmackDown, used to be a continuation of the events on RAW, and so on and so forth without fail. If you had any team of competent writers you could easily construct that. Believe that. Now is NOT the time for the Roman Empire to crumble. (By the way, just throwing the idea out there; if you want, since “The Usos” are banned from ringside for this match, that only means the tag team. That stipulation doesn’t say anything about a THIRD USO…. if you wanna debut Solo Sikoa from NXT 2.0 in a big way, you can have him run-in for one of the many twists and turns during this match, ultimately to be overcame by Rollins and hit with a Curb Stomp to send him packing).

WINNER by SUBMISSION and STILL WWE Universal Champion: Roman Reigns

5TH MATCH: Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Bobby Lashley (w/ MVP) (Singles match for the WWE Championship)

Bobby Lashley and MVP are out first, followed by the WWE Champion Brock Lesnar, and Paul Heyman. The match gets 15 minutes, and we get formal in-ring introductions. The build for this match in real life has been a little bit lackluster. I gotta say I’m a fan of the weigh-in for a match with no weight limits. Babyface Brock since he’s come back has been one of the most fun runs I’ve seen of his career. He is hilarious. After what I said in the last match’s section, it should be no surprise that I’m having Brock retain here. But it is not in easy fashion. Let these two big 16-wheelers crash into each other until one of them goes up in flames. I want a spot with MVP and Heyman going at it in this match. I feel like definitely MVP is the more likely one to get physical with things, so at one point when Heyman has distracted the referee or gotten himself involved or interjected himself one too many times, MVP comes across to Heyman’s side of the ring and tackles him down with the cane in hand. Whackin’ Heyman up the ramp. The managers are both now no longer a factor in ringside for the match. Lashley teases getting Lesnar in the Lashley Lock several times during the match but is unable to. Keep teasing the spot and then build it up throughout the course of the match, get a little bit closer each time, until he locks it in fully to the massive pop. There’s spears through the barricade to Lesnar, and everything but the kitchen sink. Lashley has wanted this match, as we have, for years upon years. Let them go all out and perform every spot they’ve dreamed of together, The finish comes when Lashley finally is able to get the full extent of the Lashley/Hurt Lock on Brock, and Brock teases giving up. Build up the idea that even THE MIGHTY BROCK LESNAR is not immune from succumbing to Lashley’s submission, which has put so many other men away. Lesnar does ultimately break his way out, and hoists Lashley up onto his shoulders for one last gasp F-5. Let the crowd breathe for a minute to really soak in that maximum reaction, as this F-5 took everything out of Lesnar after having the energy absolutely soaked out of him while in the Lashley Lock for so long. Lesnar eventually is able to capitalize, and goes for the cover. 1..2.. BUT BOBBY LASHLEY KICKS OUT. Lesnar doesn’t think twice; as Lashley’s shoulder shoots up off the mat and his arm into the air for the kickout, Lesnar snatches it into the Kimura Lock, and after having worked over Lashley’s arm the entire match in the hopes that he wouldn’t be able to lock in the full extent of the Lashley Lock as a result, the only way that Brock Lesnar is ultimately able to overcome The All-Mighty, is to BREAK HIS DAMN ARM IN THE KIMURA LOCK. Lashley taps out. Brock Lesnar has to break arm to win, Lashley looks dominant still in defeat. He wouldn't tap out to kimura unless his arm was broken. I looked it up and it takes about 12 weeks for a broken arm to heal, so I would give Lashley some time off and he returns in the beginning-to-middle of March to start whatever program he has for Mania. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns resumes at WrestleMania Night 1, World Titles Unification match, Roman Reigns wins, brings back BIG GOLD World Heavyweight Championship as the official world title for WWE, one champion across both shows, and END THE BRAND SPLIT AFTER WRESTLEMANIA. The Royal Rumble winner goes on to face Roman on Night 2’s main event for the Undisputed, Unified, WWE World Heavyweight Championship. This would shake-up WWE so much, and ending the brand split would end so. freakin. many. of their problems. Don’t be a coward, WWE

WINNER by SUBMISSION and STILL WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar

Backstage segment with Theory and Vince. Vince punishes Theory for losing to AJ Styles on Monday, and not getting him the selfie he requested, and says he will have an early draw, but then commands Theory to win the Rumble match, or something like that.

6TH MATCH: 2022 Men’s Royal Rumble Match

Before the match itself begins, and after the “Rumble By The Numbers” video package that we must’ve seen 7000 times on the night by now, Boogs and Nakamura, since I have no room for them in the actual match, so to go them on the show, have them do a pre-match performance to hype the crowd back up after the two Rumble matches.
The #1 entrant is MONTEZ FORD!
The #2 entrant is REY MYSTERIO! The cover star of WWE2K22, as they plug it during his entrance. Maybe this is also where we get the spot of showing all the foreign announce teams on a PPV. Rey and Montez starting off the field so far with an exciting pairing of fast-paced action. The first storyline thread of the match will start to become apparent as I put out the next few entrants. Montez and Rey both do insane flippy movez, until the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#3 is AUSTIN THEORY! This McMahon storyline has been so weird. Theory ends up being sandwiched in the middle of some unfavorable entries as you will come to see. Theory is getting cocky now, showing off what he can do as he attempts eliminations on both Ford and Mysterio. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#4 is ANGELO DAWKINS! You might be able to see where this is going. The Street Profits are both together now, and they’re teaming up to go after Theory, and Mysterio. Anyone who’s not with them, is against them. Theory takes out both of the Street Profits with a double version of his rolling leap neckbreaker, and then it’s Theory and Rey Mysterio going at it in the corner as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#5 is DOMINIK MYSTERIO! Now, it’s The Mysterios together, and The Street Profits together. All in the first five. Wait, what a coincidence that is… is wrestling even real? Huh. beats me. Anyways, this leads to Theory being annoying in the middle of the ring, taking selfies, Mysterios and Profits stop fighting each other for a second and all reunite as a fearsome force of a foursome to take out Theory, and ELIMINATE HIM. Swerve, bro. I fear that this McMahon story is leading us to Austin Theory vs. Shane McMahon at WrestleMania. But it’s a shock that Theory is out first, first elimination, instead of everyone penning him in to be the iron-man starting early, or in the final 4. But WWE won’t listen to me. They never do. So don’t you worry. He’ll probably win. It’s a tag team match in the middle of the Royal Rumble match now, as we get spots pitting The Profits against Rey and Dominik. The countdown clock appears as Dominik attempts to eliminate Dawkins, and Ford attempts to eliminate Rey. Both men look back and see the other trying to eliminate their partners, and as Dawkins and Rey both hang on, Ford and Dominik both abandon mission and run at each other, knocking each other down with a clothesline. Rey gets the best of Dawkins now, goes to hit a 619 as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#6 is ROB VAN DAM! Our first real surprise entrant of the match! RVD’s not doing jack right now, I remember him being rumored last year just hours before the show was set to go on air. Go on, give us one last moment with RVD running wild in a Rumble match. Anyone else remember him coming back on that one RAW in 2019 alongside Sgt. Slaughter and all the other legends to block Sami Zayn from going up the ramp? Get RVD in there along with guys like Rey, Montez Ford, and give Dominik a few rollie-pollie spots with him for the experience points. RVD hits his signature spots, and we get RVD and Rey Mysterio going at it in a battle of legends, all flipping around and countering moves. Awesome. We’ve got RVD in there now with Montez Ford, and Dominik/Rey, all men who can pull off quite a hell of a frogsplash. That may come into play in a second, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#7 is SAMI ZAYN! If you’ve read my last year’s Men’s Royal Rumble match section of the booking post from 2021, the Sami Zayn faux-Ironman storyline thread was one of my favorite ideas I had throughout the writing of that match. It doesn’t quite go as to plan the same this year for Sam. Congrats to him on re-signing with the big leagues, by the way. Go on, Samuel. Chase that bag. What he won’t be chasing, however, IS HIS TAXI ON THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA. HURRAY, METAPHORS! Zayn gets straight in there and heckles everyone within sight. The hurricane of offense comes for Sami quickly, as it begins with Angelo Dawkins hitting his world-famous comeback sequence on Zayn. Sami is stunned in the corner after Angelo’s twisting corner splash, and then Rey brings him forward to hit a 619. We then get a FROGSPLASH on Zayn by Dominik Mysterio. But that’s not rough. We then get a FROGSPLASH on Zayn by Montez Ford, who’s rebound when he lands is almost enough to send him over the top rope for a self-elimination. And finally, to cap it all off, we get the rest of the babyfaces in the ring, hyping RVD as he goes up top, the crowd chants along… thumbs outstretched towards self, ROB. VAN. DAM. A FIVE STAR FROGSPLASH TO SAMI ZAYN AND ZAYN HAS ABSOLUTELY BEEN CRUSHED. Zayn is coughing and wheezing and hacking up a lung, as he takes the time to roll out of the ring under the bottom rope. At this point, The Mysterios and The Street Profits continue their mini tag team match in the middle of the Rumble, as Rob Van Dam exits under the top rope, and turns his attention toward Sami Zayn, who at this point has hung himself over the barricade, as if he’s trying to escape out of the match through the crowd. Fortunately for the sake of the spot, Zayn has positioned himself perfectly for the VAN TERMINATOR. RVD hits it, draped the leg perfectly over the neck of Sami Zayn. Zayn crumbles in a heap to the floor. RVD celebrates and then slides back into the ring and tries to eliminate Rey Mysterio from behind, but to no avail. All 5 men in the ring go at it with Sami Zayn barely alive on the outside of the ring still, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant. And it’s not about to get ANY better at all, for Sami Zayn…
#8 is JOHNNY KNOXVILLE! Oh, great. Sami Zayn has just suffered 3 of the most devastating Frogsplashes in the game, as well as a Van Terminator, and now he’s got to deal with Jonathan Tennessee of JACKASS FAME. Sadly Umaga is no longer with us to teach these guys a lesson again. Knoxville comes out, and I’ll waste no time typing further on; you should know the score and what’s happening here; Knoxville taunts Zayn and Zayn chases Knoxville around the ring for a few laps, and then Knoxville slides into the ring. Knoxville runs towards the hard-cam side of the ring, and Sami Zayn falls right into his trap, as JOHNNY KNOXVILLE PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE, AND OVER THE TOP TUMBLES SAMI ZAYN FOR THE ELIMINATION. Zayn is absolutely livid and Knoxville is celebrating like, well… a complete and utter jackass. All the while, the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#9 is SHEAMUS! The Celtic Warrior comes in, to dispose of Johnny Knoxville, basically. He comes in, beats on him and eliminates him. Sheamus brogue kicks Johnny Knoxville immediately and Knoxville takes a hell of a bump. This is then followed up by Sheamus getting Knoxville up in the High-Cross position, and tosses Knoxville out of the ring, right onto Sami Zayn’s corpse on the outside. This is the 4TH time in the match that Sami Zayn has been squashed by another form of life coming crashing down on top of him. Sheamus delivers the 10 Beats, Irish Curse Backbreakers, and White Noise to everyone he sees. To cap off his dominance, RVD hits a thrust kick to Sheamus, knocking him down. RVD then goes for the Rolling Thunder, BUT SHEAMUS GETS UP AND HITS A BROGUE KICK TO STOP VAN DAM IN HIS TRACKS AS HE DOES THE FLIP. Sheamus attempts to eliminate RVD, but it backfires as The Street Profits sneak up from behind and attempt to eliminate Sheamus together as he and RVD both manage to hang on. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant as all the men in the ring at this point go at it.
#10 is DAMIAN PRIEST! As Sheamus is running wild in the ring, here’s Priest in close after to relive that feud. He and Sheamus go at it, renewing a rivalry from years past. At first, it’s the PRIEST side entering in the ring, and after a few strikes that land hard enough from Sheamus, it’s the DAMIAN side that comes out! Whoa, what a complex character. I’ve seen a few people predicting that Damian Priest may win this… and no. He’s already old enough, far too old for what WWE are looking for in a new main eventer nowadays, and he’s been uninteresting enough to me as a US Champ that the thought of him chasing the World Title honestly sounds revolting. That being said, it’s my job to book the guy to look good for his spots in this match. We are now, with Priest being in at #10, a 1/3 of the way through the field already. Up to this point, there have been three eliminations, and currently in the ring are Montez Ford, Rey Mysterio, Angelo Dawkins, Dominik Mysterio, Rob Van Dam, Sheamus, and DP. Sheamus and Priest continue to slug it out as old rivals, as Van Dam goes at it with Mysterio some more. As Sheamus takes down Dominik with a wicked clothesline, the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#11 is X-PAC! Yes! This one I have been excited about the possibility of for weeks. I will pop so hard hearing “MAKE SOME NOISE!” over the PA; suck it! two tears in a bucket! Sean Waltman has been saying for the longest time that he’s up for one more run in wrestling, and let’s be honest it has to be in WWE. He’s looked great in recent examples of him getting physical, and after announcing on The Bump that he’s been medically cleared again to compete, this seems to be a certainty. I would love to have fit in Kane, or maybe even an Albert for a reunion of the X-FACTOR, but I just couldn’t find the space or reason to beyond any of that. X-Pac has said that two guys he really wants to work with include Sami Zayn, (who has already been eliminated by Johnny Knoxville earlier in the match, darn it, we’ll have to wait a little bit longer to see that one), and one other man who we’ll see in a couple of spots from now. Stay tuned. X-Pac goes wild and nails a Bronco Buster on Sheamus. X-Pac and RVD convene in the middle of the ring, and form a legends allegiance. X-Pac and Rey go at it, as well as Priest and RVD now, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#12 is KEVIN OWENS! Owens comes in and immediately starts to show signs of dominance as he nearly gets eliminated in quick fashion, with Priest turning his attention from a former rival in Sheamus to current rival in Owens. Owens steps into the ring and tries to take it to Damian Priest, but he’s grabbed by the throat like a chokeslam. Priest runs Owens back into the ropes and is about to tip him over, but Owens sees his opening, and then sends his foot STRAIGHT into the opening between Priest’s legs. His balls. That would be his balls. Priest is sent into a state of frozen shock and immediately becomes infertile, and then, even worse, ELIMINATED, as Owens hits a STUNNER on the current US Champion, to send him flying over the top rope to the outside. Owens can now say that he’s eliminated Priest in the Rumble match, after the two DQ endings in their matches, leading to KO being able to make a valid argument into getting one more US Championship match, this time No DQ, on RAW next week, in the stipulation of Owens’ choosing. Meanwhile during all of this, Sheamus has been on the apron, and our next elimination comes in a spot when Sheamus attempts to make his way back into the ring with that lunging Shoulder Block he does, but Owens counters with a perfectly-timed Superkick to the dome of Sheamus. Sheamus falls backwards off the apron, and at the same time, Sheamus’s foot is yanked off by Priest, who was just also eliminated by Owens. So this is a way for the elimination to count for Priest also, so he gets at least one. Sheamus is angered and attempts to Brogue Kick the US Champion on the ramp, but Damian sidesteps, grabs ahold of Sheamus by the throat, and points at Kevin Owens still in the ring, as if to say “This is you! This is what I’m going to be doing to you in your future!”. Damian delivers a devastating South Of Heaven chokeslam to Sheamus on the steel grate at the end portion of the ramp. Damian walks up the ramp, as medical personnel tend to Sheamus now on the outside. Priest has made an example for Owens in his future. Owens is still faced toward Priest, and out of nowhere, bold and brash young Dominik Mysterio comes and tries to eliminate KO from behind. He’s unsuccessful as Owens hangs on, but when Owens gets into the ring again, Dominik attempts to lift Owens up onto his shoulders, but the young whippersnapper just ain’t strong enough. Owens slips off, spins Dominik around and hits a STUNNER to him. Rey now comes back at Owens to try and defend his son. Dom is down, Rey and KO going at it, and The Street Profits are both taking turns against RVD and X-Pac as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#13 is SANTOS ESCOBAR! Remember when X-Pac came out at 11, and I briefly mentioned that other guy whom X-Pac says he really wants to work with? YEAH, THIS IS THAT OTHER GUY. It’s our first major NXT 2.0 entry of the Men’s Rumble match, as Santos comes out looking like the star he is destined to be, with Legado Del Fantasma and Elektra Lopez flanking him at the sides. Hey, you know how also WWE wants that next big latino superstar after Eddie Guerrero, and eventually after Rey hangs up the mask? Let’s jumpstart the foundation for that right here. Santos makes his way out to the ring, and immediately he and X-Pac start going at it. We see out of the corner of our eye, Dominik Mysterio has decided it’s time to try and eliminate his father from the Royal Rumble match. Unfortunately, Rey is again just that one step ahead, as Dom tries to dump Rey out, but Rey reenacts the double-double-cross just as he saw it coming on RAW, and hooks his legs around his son’s head, and scissors him (calm down now) over the top rope to the floor below. Dominik appears like he can’t believe this just happened to him again, and just as Rey is wagging his finger at Dominik and almost putting him down, saying that he knows what he’s doing in a Rumble much more than Dom, SANTOS ESCOBAR MAKES HIS OWN MOMENT BY SNEAKING UP FROM BEHIND AND KNOCKING REY MYSTERIO OFF THE APRON. Your next top Spanish superstar eliminates one of the most beloved of that same kind of all time. Easy money, easy foreshadowing, easy booking, and a huge elimination for Santos. Owens and Santos Escobar go at it in the corner, as do Dawkins and RVD, and Montez and X-Pac, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#14 is HAPPY CORBIN! Corbin comes in, and the HAPPY one immediately makes everybody MAD, as he’s kind of taken the spot of being the one to come in and immediately eliminate the legend in the ring in my Rumble match bookings; so, to follow suit, Corbin jives his way down the ramp, slides in, grabs Rob Van Dam by the singlet, and sends him flying as high as he’s ever been out of the ring for the elimination! The crowd boos, as Corbin turns toward the hard cam, points and begins laughing. What reason ain’t there to be Happy? Corbin and Kevin Owens agree to team up momentarily, as the heels, and they make a trip around the ring, delivering corner stomps to the likes of Montez Ford, Angelo Dawkins, X-Pac, and Santos Escobar. Owens and Corbin’s partnership is short lived as Corbin attempts to send Owens into the ropes, but Owens reverses and instead sends Corbin into the ropes, who springs back off for a massive Pop-Up Powerbomb. Owens screams and now goes to hit Cannonballs on all of the men in the corners who he and Happy Corbin just stomped together, and successfully delivers a Cannonball onto Montez, Dawkins, and Santos Escobar, and then goes to deliver one to X-Pac, but X-Pac moves, hits Owens with an X-Factor, Owens stumbles into the corner and slumps down, and then X-Pac hits a BRONCO BUSTER on KO. The crowd goes wild as X-Pac does the Suck It to Kevin Owens. X-Pac and Corbin go at it and the two try to eliminate each other, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#15 is KOFI KINGSTON! We are now at the HALFWAY POINT of the field, and with Kofi coming into the ring, in there alongside him we currently have Montez Ford, Dawkins, X-Pac, Kevin Owens, Santos Escobar and Happy Corbin. Kofi is coming in at fifteenth to do his big save spot of the match later; he’s in between Happy Corbin, and then…
#16 is DREW MCINTYRE! HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT, DID YOU THINK I WAS GONNA SAY MADCAP MOSS? NO WAY, IT’S DREW MCINTYRE, WAY AHEAD OF SCHEDULE, FROM THE EXACT SPOT HE WON THE RUMBLE FROM IN 2020; HE COMES OUT AND… oh. wait. That’s not Drew McIntyre. That’s Madcap Moss, dressed up as Drew McIntyre, coming out to his music, even with an exact replica of his claymore sword he carries to the ring with him, Angela. Now, here’s where Kofi’s spot comes into effect. Spot can either be him Trouble In Paradise’ing Madcap’s hat off his head and it flies outside the ring, Kofi sent over top rope and Kofi’s feet land on the hat to save him, OR, I think the much cooler idea; Corbin is dominating Kofi and stands tall and poses, McIntyre’s music hits after the countdown as explained to troll fans but it’s really Moss mocking Drew again, coming out with his Claymore. He walks to ringside, holding his neck like he and Happy Corbin both did to Drew, walks to right in front of the announce table, then strips everything McIntyre related off and sets the sword down. Moss gets into the ring officially. Moss and Corbin laugh, Kofi gets tossed out and has to TIGHTROPE WALK on the claymore sword back to the ring. Those are my two ideas; we’ve kind of exhausted the gambit here, y’know? I think Kofi walking on top of the sword like a narrowing bridge to avoid elimination would be pretty awesome though, too. Corbin has his back turned to Kofi, who at this point after the spot gets back into the ring, and as Corbin is laughing so hard that he’s leaning against the ropes, KOFI COMES IN WITH A TROUBLE IN PARADISE, KNOCKING HAPPY CORBIN OUT OF THE RING ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE SIDE. Happy is eliminated, and he ain’t Happy. In fact, he’s so damn UNhappy, that he begins taking out his frustration by ripping apart the announce table. He’s throwing monitors, he’s sending pens and cords and loose items flying everywhere, he even intimidates Jimmy Smith and gets up in his face after he overhears Smith calling him insane. Happy Corbin eyes Corey Graves, but we think nothing of it at first. Moss is now trying to get payback and avenge his partner by eliminating Kofi, and Corbin rolls back into the ring after already being eliminated to try and play a part in Kofi’s ultimate elimination too. As Corbin and Moss are tipping Kingston over the top rope, and he’s barely hanging on, the countdown clock appears, and we get a shot facing towards the announce desk..
#17 is COREY GRAVES! You’ve all seen the rumors. This man is READY TO GO, and we’ve just set the table with Corbin’s attack and destruction of their announce table, as well as his attempted intimation of Jimmy Smith and Byron Saxton. Graves is here to STEP UP for his fellow co-workers. Graves takes off his jacket, and he’s got his old ring gear on from his last few matches in NXT. THE SAVIOR OF MISBEHAVIOR IS BACK, AND IT COULDN’T BE AT A MORE OPPORTUNE TIME. Hopefully they’re gonna let him use that Cancer Killing Gemini/Christcontrol song, cause that’s awesome and would get a pop from them folks in Missouri. Graves real slowly stands up from the announce desk, eyes trained on Corbin, unbuttons his shirt, reveals his gear on, and then slides into the ring. Theme song is still playing. Corey Graves is back in a ring and Moss and Corbin have both stopped what they’re doing with Kofi, focused on the more immediate threat in the ring. Corbin and Moss both look at Graves, then look at each other, and LAUGH! Because that’s what they do. Kofi Kingston comes back from behind and he and Graves double team Corbin and Moss. Graves throws out Corbin one more time, and then goes on and eliminates Madcap Mossintyre too! At this point, Kofi and Graves go their separate ways, and after getting vengeance for Corbin’s tirade at the announce table, Graves is officially IN THIS THING. Kofi, Kevin Owens and Santos Escobar all trade shots with each other, and Graves goes on and locks X-Pac in the Lucky 13 in the middle of the ring in an attempt to wear him down. This is all going on with The Street Profits resting out of the action from the corner, and the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#18 is AJ STYLES! We get a brief interaction between Styles and X-Pac, who I really just wanted to get lasting in here until Styles came in. At this point, Styles runs wild and hits Pele Kicks, forearms, Ushigoroshis and the whole nine yards to all who come his way. This is the point in which X-Pac decides “yeah, I’ve gotten my shit in with Escobar, I’ve lasted throughout 7 spots and got in a good performance on my first night back, hey Santos, come eliminate me kid!”. And so Santos does. This makes his second elimination in the match, first throwing out Rey Mysterio, and now X-Pac. AJ Styles and Kevin Owens find each other in the center of the ring and they trade major moves. Elsewhere, tag team action continues as The Street Profits take it to the temporary tandem of Graves and Kingston. Santos Escobar is in the corner, picking and choosing his spots as he gets advice from Legado Del Fantasma on the outside of the ring. All this is happening as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#19 is LA KNIGHT! If this man isn’t a certified star on your main roster, then I don’t know what kind of company you’re running. Styles and Knight recently formed an alliance at the end of the NXT episode where AJ defeated Grayson Waller, so they agree to work together here. The alliances in this match take turns being dominant, as it’s first Knight and Styles taking it to everyone, but then Graves and Kingston take over, and then it’s The Street Profits running rampant and cleaning house, like they’ve just got a second wind in this match. Montez Ford, still in here from #1, very much the Iron-man in this match, as Naomi was for the Women’s one earlier. The Street Profits both try to eliminate Kevin Owens, but Owens fights them off. Ford and Dawkins hit a double team move on Owens, and then it’s at this point that Legado Del Fantasma has decided it’s time to interfere. Joaquin Wilde and Raul Mendoza slide in and beat down The Street Profits. They’re taking the fight to them when KO pops back up in frame and delivers two STUNNERS, one for each of them Mendoza and Wilde are sent retreating back out of the ring, as Escobar rolls up Owens from behind, and then hoists him up for the Phantom Driver. It’s Escobar and Owens going at it in the main focus of the ring, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#20 is APOLLO CREWS! “Apollooooooooo!” as his theme starts at the beginning, just in case you didn’t know who he was. Apollo comes in at twentieth, and at this 2/3 point of the match, currently in the ring is Montez Ford, Angelo Dawkins, Kevin Owens, Santos Escobar, Kofi Kingston, Corey Graves, AJ Styles, LA Knight, and the just-entered Crews. The ring is filling up, so you just know that means there’s about to be an equalizer coming in sooner rather than later. Apollo joins the mix of bodies attempting eliminations in the ring, and he’s going at it with Kofi in sort of a moment of Kofi putting the beatdown on Apollo for his wrongdoings against his brother Big E last year, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#21 is COMMANDER AZEEZ! What a draw! Coming in right after his protege, Apollo. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Azeez and Apollo seem cordial for now, and the two of them go after Corey Graves first. Azeez strikes with the Nigerian Nail to the injured head/neck of Graves that caused him to retire in the first place, and Graves is incapacitated. It’s about time for Graves' night to be over, as Apollo and the Commander eliminate Corey. Then, Kofi Kingston comes up from behind and attempts to take it to Azeez single-handedly, but Apollo knocks him down, and hits a Standing Moonsault on Kingston. Apollo then picks him up, and then sends him into the grasp of Commander Azeez. He’s about to send Kofi out of there, but then Apollo also grabs a hold at the last second and sends Kofi out of there. He’s had his save spot now, honestly after that he’s got no use. The field is starting to clear out now with Commander Azeez coming in there. Azeez is getting annoyed with Crews now as he is interjecting himself to be a part of his eliminations when Azeez knows he can get it done by himself. Planting seeds for something upcoming in this match. Styles and Knight now come up and try to break them apart; Styles tries chopping Commander Azeez down with strikes and Knight takes it to Apollo in the corner, as Kevin Owens battles The Street Profits, and the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#22 is OMOS! Maybe Styles was a little too early in battling giants, as he just took it to Azeez, now in comes his former personal colossus, the jolly black giant. Here is where Omos and Azeez take turns throwing fools out, as the ring needs to clear out promptly to set up the dynamic and the arrival of our next entrant. Omos and Azeez begin eliminating people in order of importance; as they attempt to HOSS one-up each other. Omos grabs a hold of Angelo Dawkins, and throws him over the top for the elimination. Omos ROARS. Commander Azeez then grabs a hold of Montez Ford, and throws him over for the elimination. #1 is gone. Azeez now ROARS. Omos grabs a hold of Santos Escobar, and presses him up over his head, into the waiting arms of Wilde and Mendoza on the outside. They all fall down for the elimination. Omos ROARS EVEN LOUDER. Commander Azeez now grabs ahold of Kevin Owens, and tosses him over the top. COMMANDER AZEEZ ROARS THE LOUDEST ROAR THAT’S EVER BEEN ROARED. Left in the ring now are, obviously Omos and Azeez, and then AJ Styles, LA Knight, and Apollo Crews. Next eliminations come as Grayson Waller appears on the stage, and distracts both Styles and Knight, who have had business with him recently. Omos takes advantage, and dumps BOTH Styles and Knight over the top rope for the elimination. Styles and Knight then go to chase Waller up the ramp, and to the back, in a storm of rage. All that’s left is Omos and Commander Azeez, ft. Apollo Crew. Yeah, bye bye, small man. Azeez gets the big moment, turning on Crews and throwing him out for the elimination. The ring has been absolutely cleared by these two monsters. We get Omos vs. Commander Azeez and they run into each other for a while like two big buildings but are not knocked down. Who will be our hero to save us from this marvelous chain wrestling and classical mat-wrestling wizardry? Well, we’re about to find out. The countdown clock appears, and out comes…
#23 is BRON BREAKKER! THE GUY. The barks roar out from the crowd as out comes the current NXT Champion to face off with the two biggest men in the match, all alone, by himself, like the ultimate badass top of the card babyface he is. Breaker begins taking it to both men, and we get a teased spot of him eliminating both Omos and Azeez as the two big men are brawling into the ropes; but to no avail. After it all looked promising for Breakker early, signs are beginning to show of doubt for the young superstar. Bron is giving all his might to fend off the two gigantic superstars.. all of a sudden, the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#24 is RICK OR SCOTT STEINER! Now, HEAR ME OUT. I WANT SCOTT STEINER. AND IT’S POSSIBLE. WHY IS IT POSSIBLE? WELL BECAUSE I SAW ON AN ARTICLE FROM A DIRTSHEET WHICH IS ALWAYS RELIABLE THAT “VINCE MCMAHON IS “REPORTEDLY” OPEN TO WORKING WITH SCOTT STEINER IN WWE”, THAT’S WHY! DON’T BELIEVE ME? YOU CAN READ THOSE EXACT WORDS RIGHT HERE! And no dirtsheet would ever steer ME wrong! Right…? Anyways, while Big Poppa Pump himself is unlikely, it’s not impossible to get DADDY Rick Steiner in there as the backup! Rick can get in there for a few, and remain unscathed. It’ll be completely harmless. Whichever Steiner it is, (Scott. Scott. Scott.), they come in as backup for Bron, and at this point in the ring we get the faceoff between Steiners, and GIANTS. Ultimately, in the end, the STEINERS triumph as the dominant species, when Rick/Scott takes on Omos on one side of the ring, and Breakker takes his chances against Commander Azeez. Bron Breakker ELIMINATES Commander Azeez! Dumps him over! One giant gone, Bron looks to the other side and sees Rick/Scott struggling (btw, if it’s Scott in there, let him hit at least one top-rope Frankensteiner on Azeez, since he’s probably somewhat of the more agile big man in the ring at this point), and Bron helps his fellow Steiner to get the extra leverage on Omos, who is tipped over the top rope for the elimination for the big pop! Bron Breakker has come in and cleared house of the two giants that otherwise would have dominated the rest of the Rumble match! What a push for Bron. He and other Steiner raise each other’s arms in celebration in the middle of the ring, and Rick/Scott positions himself forward ahead of Bron, as the two look ready to take on whoever comes in next as a duo. Before you know it, Breakker sends Rick/Scott flying over the top rope for the elimination! Just a few minutes ago the ring was absolutely full of wrestlers, and then it whittled down to just the giants, and now, IT’S BRON BREAKKER, ALL. ALONE. WHAT A STAR. Breakker plays off the crowd, as he, alone in the ring, awaits the next entrant into the match.
#25 is RANDY ORTON! Here is another true test for Breakker, as he’s now getting to square off against the veteran Orton. Randy is out with Riddle, who has his scooter and rides around Orton in circles, until Orton gets so frustrated that he tells off Riddle, and sends him to the back. More on this later as the story develops. You can tell that Orton has a gleam in his eyes of determination, as he comes out to that big hometown St. Louis pop. If he can win the Royal Rumble here tonight, he’ll be the only other man to tie Steve Austin for 3 Rumble victories. Can he do it, can he win it big in St. Louis? Orton and Bron engage in a match in the middle of the Rumble, as this is Breakker’s time to truly test himself against someone with a lot of experience. Randy gives Bron everything in this time alone together, and makes him look like an absolute star. Orton nails Breakker with his signature BACKBreak(k)er, as the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#26 is VEER MAHAAN! OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. VEER MAHAAN ISN’T JUST COMING TO RAW, HE’S COMING TO RUMBLE!!! I’m telling you, this isn’t just as a part of my booking post, I can almost assure you that WWE and Vince and Bruce are gonna think this is SO important, that they’re gonna have Veer come in the final 5 or so. Alas, I am simply getting ahead of the curve. Veer Mahaan gets the biggest pyro show of all time, his entrance is so epic to behold that it takes 46 minutes to get to the ring, and then he slides in, immediately eats an RKO from Randy Orton, and then is clotheslined over the top rope for the elimination by Breakker. Thanks for coming, Veer. Now please continue to be “coming”. Forever. Forever, and ever, and ever. God bless. Orton and Breakker continue their match, up until the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#27 is ELIAS! Another man who might as well be Veer, because he’s been gone for MONTHS. He died in July, and apparently if you die you don’t just come back. Except for in wrestling of course! Elias comes out with the guitar, and cuts a short spiel saying essentially that RKO is no longer the three most devastating letters in WWE; in fact, the fans in St. Louis haven’t forgotten what WWE itself stands for, have they? WALK. WITH ELI- before he can finish, Elias steps through the ropes, eats an RKO, and then gets tossed over the top by Randy Orton. Seems as if RKO still is the three most devastating letters. Sorry, Mr. Sampson. The focus very much sets back on Breakker vs. Orton, and they both take turns trying to eliminate each other now. Bron has been taking it to The Viper, and definitely earning his respect, proving he belongs, and proving his worth. We’re approaching the ending stages of the Rumble match, and it’s a similar scene to the Rumble of 2010, as the final few entrants come in to what seems like a barren wasteland of an empty ring. But it’s all coming down to the wire. As Breakker now has Orton in the Steiner Recliner, the countdown clock appears for our next entrant.
#28 is TOMMASO CIAMPA! A late but welcomed NXT addition to the matchup. We’ve gotten the dynamic of Breakker vs. Orton for a while now, and here, in comes someone Bron has had extensive history with. Breakker lets loose the Recliner on Orton, and even though they’ll be teaming up on this Tuesday’s NXT 2.0 episode to take on Legado Del Fantasma, the Royal Rumble match is still very much every man for himself. So, in comes Ciampa and he and Bron Breakker go at it. The three men in the ring now trade off working spots with each other up until we go to the countdown clock for our next, second to final entrant.
#29 is CARMELO HAYES! The NXT North American Champion, in there with the NXT Champion as well as Tommaso Ciampa, and Randy Orton!?!? This is great representation for the 2.0 brand right here. Carmelo goes on a tear, hitting his signature moves to Orton. The four men brawl and go at it as the countdown clock appears for our final entrant of the night…
#30 is BIG E! He’s comin’ in to get his baby back after he was done recklessly filthy in the hotshot booking that was WWE Day 1. Will he avenge himself? Yes, that’s all the entrants in the Rumble. That’s the field, bitch. No GUNTHER, I’m sorry but there’s just no way any “Gunther” is gonna be in the Rumble and win it. Also, no Ali cause they’re probably not on the best of terms right now, AND NO UNDERTAKER. PWInsider says he’ll be there in St. Louis, but AAHHHHHHHHHH. Other legitimate possibilities of Rumble surprises I had in mind were Batista, Chris Jericho if they were gonna get any kind of AEW forbidden door entrance, and maybe, since the likes of Corey Graves, Paige, Edge, Daniel Bryan have been cleared over the past few years, a Tyson Kidd or a Jason Jordan coming out for a one off. But no, not this year for me in the end. And so here we are:
THE FINAL FIVE IN THE 2022 MEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE CARMELO HAYES, TOMMASO CIAMPA, RANDY ORTON, BRON BREAKKER AND BIG E. After Carmelo manages a short, albeit impressive showing, he and Bron Breakker battle it out on the apron, on the ramp side. Orton comes outta nowhere, attempting an RKO on Breakker, but Breakker carries Orton’s momentum sideways, and Orton ends up RKO’ing Carmelo Hayes on the top rope instead, who’s head snaps back off the rope, and Hayes drops off to the floor below.
THE FINAL FOUR IN THE 2022 MEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE TOMMASO CIAMPA, RANDY ORTON (w/ Riddle), BRON BREAKKER AND BIG E. Maybe at some point here can have The Usos run out for interference, taking out the men in the ring to soften them up and send a message for a potential meeting with Reigns down the line. Ciampa hits a Willow’s Bell on Big E, and one on Orton, and then is thrown out by Bron Breakker.
THE FINAL THREE IN THE 2022 MEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE RANDY ORTON, BRON BREAKKER AND BIG E. St. Louis’s own. Orton is running wild now on both Breakker and Big E, as he soaks in the energy of this hometown crowd. Orton goes to hit a Spike DDT on Big E, and then Breakker tries to club Orton from behind, Breakker gets piled in and Orton hits a double spike DDT on both men at the same time. At this point, as they have seen enough that Orton is about to win the whole thing, OUT COMES THE ALPHA ACADEMY, OF OTIS AND CHAD GABLE. But they’re not even in the match! Bron and Big E rest in the corners of the ring as the focus is shifted to the 2-on-1 beatdown of Randy Orton in his hometown by Otis and Gable. Now, out comes Riddle on his scooter to make the save! Even though Orton specifically told Riddle to stay backstage, Riddle comes out to save Raaaaannnnndyyyy, and he manages to stun Gable with a ripcord knee. Gable tumbles out of the ring through the middle rope. Otis is still in there though, the “TREE TRUNK”, as they are now calling him, and Orton stunned against the ropes on the announce table side. Otis springs off the ropes to try and body block Orton out of the ring to ensure he doesn’t win in the match, but Riddle gets in front of Randy Orton to act as sort of a human shield. It doesn’t work. Otis proves the law that a body in motion, STAYS in motion, and the absolute mass of humanity clubbers Riddle, who then is sent backwards crashing into Orton, who is then SENT OVER THE TOP ROPE, BY RIDDLE, INADVERTENTLY. From here, Gable and Otis aren’t seen again, but Orton finally snaps. We get Orton hitting Riddle with an RKO through the announce table, and then finishing off the attack with a Punt Kick to the skull. Riddle ends up having to be taken out on a stretcher, as EVEN RANDY’s OWN ST. LOUIS HOME CROWD FANS begin to chant “Asshole” at him. Seething Randy Orton, the viper, the legend killer, the sick bastard, THE REAL RANDY ORTON has returned. THis would, obviously set in motion the plans for Riddle vs. Orton at Mania. I’ll have my rough card that would be apparent coming off the events of how I booked this show, at the end of the post. RK-Bro, is safely no more.
THE FINAL TWO IN THE 2022 MEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE BIG E AND BRON BREAKKER. Ultimately, the match finish comes when Breakker hoists Big E up onto the top turnbuckle, and attempts for a top rope Frankensteiner. Bron wraps his legs around Big E’s head, and goes to deliver the move, but Big E is too strong, and he stops it. Big E powers Bron Breakker back up into powerbomb position, and then dumps him over his head like an Alley-Oop, Breakker drops to the floor, and BIG E HAS WON THE RUMBLE. I think whoever wins the Men’s Royal Rumble will win by last eliminating Bron Breakker. For sure. Similar situation to Roman Reigns in 2014 when they knew he was THE GUY, but in his first year he was just a runner-up to ultimately do it all the next year. And that may just be the case. For now.. Big E finds redemption. Big E points to the WrestleMania sign and pyro goes off, Bron Breakker walks up the ramp, and out walk from the back Brock Lesnar, the WWE Champion, and Roman Reigns, the Universal Champion. Lesnar and Reigns both look at each other on the stage, and then turn to face Bron Breakker who is walking up the ramp. Breakker gets inbetween them, as if to say, soon I'll be where you're standing too. A tease of Breakker going against the main roster World champions, and just a visual moment to see how much he fits in standing there with them in that moment. Breakker walks to the back, and we get the show signing off the air as Big E points at the two champions on the ramp, and we're left off air wondering who he's gonna pick.

QUICK MATCH SUMMARY RESULTS TABLE:

Entry #	Entrant	Order Eliminated	Eliminated By	Eliminations achieved	Brand
1	Montez Ford	15	Commander Azeez	0	RAW
2	Rey Mysterio	7	Santos Escobar	2	RAW
3	Austin Theory	1	Dominik & Rey Mysterio and The Street Profits	0	RAW
4	Angelo Dawkins	14	Omos	0	RAW
5	Dominik Mysterio	6	Rey Mysterio	1	RAW
6	Rob Van Dam	8	Happy Corbin	0	Free Agent
7	Sami Zayn	2	Johnny Knoxville	0	SmackDown
8	Johnny Knoxville	3	Sheamus	1	Celebrity
9	Sheamus	5	Kevin Owens and Damian Priest	1	SmackDown
10	Damian Priest	4	Kevin Owens	1	RAW
11	X-Pac	11	Santos Escobar	0	Free Agent
12	Kevin Owens	17	Commander Azeez	2	RAW
13	Santos Escobar	16	Omos	2	NXT 2.0
14	Happy Corbin	9	Kofi Kingston	1	SmackDown
15	Kofi Kingston	13	Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez	1	SmackDown
16	Madcap Moss	10	Corey Graves	0	SmackDown
17	Corey Graves	12	Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez	1	RAW
18	AJ Styles	18	Omos, after a distraction from NXT 2.0’s Grayson Waller	0	RAW
19	LA Knight	19	Omos, after a distraction from NXT 2.0’s Grayson Waller	0	NXT 2.0
20	Apollo Crews	20	Commander Azeez	2	RAW
21	Commander Azeez	21	Bron Breakker	5	RAW
22	Omos	22	Bron Breakker and Rick or Scott Steiner	4	RAW
23	Bron Breakker	29	Big E	5	NXT 2.0
24	Rick or Scott Steiner	23	Bron Breakker	1	Free agent
25	Randy Orton	28	Otis, and Riddle (inadvertently)	2	RAW
26	Veer Mahaan	24	Bron Breakker	0	RAW
27	Elias	25	Randy Orton	0	Undecided
28	Tommaso Ciampa	27	Bron Breakker	0	NXT 2.0
29	Carmelo Hayes	26	Randy Orton	0	NXT 2.0
30	Big E	WINNER	N/A	1	RAW

FINAL RESULTS:

No.	Results	Stipulations	Times
1	Bayley (#25) (or Sasha Banks) won by last eliminating Bianca Belair	30-Woman Royal Rumble match for a Women's Championship match at WrestleMania 38	≈ 1 hour
2	Beth Phoenix and Edge defeated Maryse and The Miz by Pinfall	Mixed Tag Team match	10 minutes
3	Becky Lynch (c) defeated Doudrop by Pinfall	Singles match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship	8 minutes
4	Roman Reigns (c) defeated Seth Rollins by Submission	Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship; The Usos are BANNED from ringside	20-25 minutes
5	Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Bobby Lashley (w/ MVP) by Submission	Singles match for the WWE Championship	15 minutes
6	Big E (#30) won by last eliminating Bron Breakker (#23)	30-Man Royal Rumble match for a World Championship match at WrestleMania 38	≈ 1 hour

MY CURRENT CARD FOR WRESTLEMANIA 38 (Saturday, April 2nd & Sunday, April 3rd, 2022; Dallas, TX; AT&T Stadium) AS OF THIS POINT:

No.	Matches	Stipulations
1	Brock Lesnar (c; WWE Champion) vs. Roman Reigns (c; WWE Universal Champion)	Singles match to unify both WWE main roster World Championships with Paul Heyman as Special Guest Referee; if Heyman does not call it right down the middle as a neutral referee, he will be fined and fired by WWE; The Usos are banned from ringside; and there MUST be a winner
1.5	Roman Reigns (c) vs. Big E (Men’s Royal Rumble winner)	Night 2 main event for the BIG GOLD BELT, the World Heavyweight Championship
2	Becky Lynch (c) vs. Bayley (Women’s Royal Rumble winner)	Singles match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship
3	Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Sasha Banks	Singles match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
4	Carmella and Queen Zelina (c) vs. The Bella Twins (Brie Bella and Nikki Bella)	Tag Team match for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships
5	AJ Styles vs. Edge	Singles match
6	Bianca Belair vs. Rhea Ripley	Singles match
7	Dominik Mysterio vs. Rey Mysterio	Singles match where, if Rey loses, he must surrender his mask to Dominik and then retire
8	Randy Orton vs. Riddle	Singles match
9	Naomi vs. Sonya Deville	No DQ where, if Sonya Deville loses, she must relinquish power as an authority figure on both brands

MY (rough) CARD FOR WWE SAUDI ARABIA SUPERSHOW (Elimination Chamber PPV!) (February 19, 2022; Jeddah, Saudi Arabia; Jeddah Super Dome)

No.	Matches	Stipulations
1	Austin Theory vs. Big E vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins	Elimination Chamber match for a WWE World Championship match at WrestleMania 38
2	Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler vs. Shotzi vs. Xia Li	Elimination Chamber match for a WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania 38
3	Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Rated-RKO (Edge and Randy Orton)	Interbrand Tag Team match
4	Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Lita	Singles match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
5	The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura	Tag Team match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championships
6	Happy Corbin (w/ Madcap Moss) vs. Mansoor	Singles match

Well, that was the post. Thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you liked and/or what you didn’t like from the post, and what from the post you’d like to see actually happen on the show! Be sure to look out for my next post for the upcoming PPV, “How WWE Should Book Elimination Chamber IN SAUDI ARABIA 2022” Enjoy the show this weekend, everyone! THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA BEGINS NOW!!

Hey! If you're a fan of my booking posts, I've got awesome news. I've now got my very own WWE Booking blog! It contains archives of every one of my posts dating back to 2015 and it's also where I'll be posting all of my newest posts for upcoming events from now on. But don't worry, I'll still be posting them here in full text as well. But if you want a full library of my stuff, this new blog is the best place to be. If you're familiar with my posts here and this sounds like a good time to you, you can find the blog here: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/

HOW WWE SHOULD BOOK...

How WWE Should Book Royal Rumble 2022

> MAIN SHOW

1 is LITA! Unlucky draw. She seems to be coming back for an extended run and I’m buzzing about that. It starts off here. First time in the short history of the women’s Rumble, that a legend/HOF’er is starting off within the first two. Got it? Now let’s multiply that shit x2.

14 is SUMMER RAE! She’s back! Her and Natalya immediately go at it as a result of the recent twitter drama, which is dating all the way back to their infamous segment on Total Divas… or Bellas… I don't watch. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant. Ring getting so full.

22 is CAMERON! Then, a Piper/Snuka level moment from ‘08 where the absolute legends, Cameron and Melina come out back to back.

QUICK MATCH SUMMARY RESULTS TABLE:

QUICK MATCH SUMMARY RESULTS TABLE:

FINAL RESULTS:

MY CURRENT CARD FOR WRESTLEMANIA 38 (Saturday, April 2nd & Sunday, April 3rd, 2022; Dallas, TX; AT&T Stadium) AS OF THIS POINT:

MY (rough) CARD FOR WWE SAUDI ARABIA SUPERSHOW (Elimination Chamber PPV!) (February 19, 2022; Jeddah, Saudi Arabia; Jeddah Super Dome)

How WWE Should Book Royal Rumble 2024 (Incomplete/Unfinished)

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How WWE Should Book Royal Rumble 2022

> MAIN SHOW

1 is LITA! Unlucky draw. She seems to be coming back for an extended run and I’m buzzing about that. It starts off here. First time in the short history of the women’s Rumble, that a legend/HOF’er is starting off within the first two. Got it? Now let’s multiply that shit x2.

14 is SUMMER RAE! She’s back! Her and Natalya immediately go at it as a result of the recent twitter drama, which is dating all the way back to their infamous segment on Total Divas… or Bellas… I don't watch. The countdown clock appears for our next entrant. Ring getting so full.

22 is CAMERON! Then, a Piper/Snuka level moment from ‘08 where the absolute legends, Cameron and Melina come out back to back.

QUICK MATCH SUMMARY RESULTS TABLE:

QUICK MATCH SUMMARY RESULTS TABLE:

FINAL RESULTS:

MY CURRENT CARD FOR WRESTLEMANIA 38 (Saturday, April 2nd & Sunday, April 3rd, 2022; Dallas, TX; AT&T Stadium) AS OF THIS POINT:

MY (rough) CARD FOR WWE SAUDI ARABIA SUPERSHOW (Elimination Chamber PPV!) (February 19, 2022; Jeddah, Saudi Arabia; Jeddah Super Dome)

How WWE Should Book Royal Rumble 2024 (Incomplete/Unfinished)

Check out some of the most popular posts on this blog!

Translate my posts into your preferred language here!