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Hey everyone! Every month, days
before PPV's happen, I share my thoughts on the show and card and how I would
book the show that has unexpected swerves, returns, debuts, and a memorable
show that would leave fans happy. If you want, you can read some past editions
of these by clicking on my name and searching. I have been doing these for
every PPV since Night Of Champions 2015. I hope you enjoy, and this is how I
would book the 2017 ROYAL RUMBLE. This is Part 1 of 2, Part 1 will be the
entire card besides the actual Rumble match, and Part 2 will be the Royal
Rumble match itself
PRE SHOW
- Oh no. The Pre-Show really is 2 hours again. Ouch. We
get the usual panel, but with HBK as a special guest, as announced earlier
in the week. Two Social Media Lounge segments are announced earlier in the
day with Chris Jericho, and another with the entire New Wyatt Family. Use
#AskY2J and #AskTheWyatts. The panel talks about the matches and we get
video packages and they give some predictions, and we get to our first
kickoff match OF THREE ON THIS SHOW.
1ST KICKOFF MATCH: Sasha Banks vs
Nia Jax
- Some of these people I don't understand why they were
put on the kickoff show. 3 months ago, she main evented a PPV inside HIAC,
now she's on a kickoff match with Nia Jax. Oops. I have enjoyed the build
and story to this feud, though. Nia Jax is out first. Nia stands in the
ring for a few moments as the crowd builds anticipation for Sasha to come
out and then her music hits. Nia waits for her opponent to walk out from
backstage but no one comes. Out of nowhere, Sasha sneaks up from behind
Jax and whacks her in the back with her crutch. She is still on crutches,
but then fools the crowd and throws her crutches out of the ring,
revealing she's all healed. The ref has to separate Sasha, and when
everything is finally under control, Jax is still slightly dazed and Sasha
runs up to her in the corner and hits a big dropkick. The match goes about
11 1/2 minutes, and all throughout Sasha pursues an onslaught of fast
paced moves and constant offence to try to bring the giant woman down. The
match ends when Sasha and Nia are battling on the outside, and Jax drapes
Sasha up against the barricade in front of the timekeepers area, and backs
up then runs to tackle Banks through it, but Sasha sidesteps her and Nia
goes crashing through the barricade. Sasha gets back into the ring and Nia
is down for the count. Normally, I'm with all of you, and I HATE matches
that end in finishes like count-out, but I feel like it's right for the
story here, and Jax doesn't lose clean. Maybe the feud could continue.
Maybe not.
WINNER by COUNT OUT: Sasha Banks
- We get the Social Media Lounge first with Chris
Jericho, and he answers questions mostly about the shark cage, and as
always calls Terry Phillips a different name every time. He eventually
gets angry at the stupid fan questions, says he'll win the rumble and it
will be Best friend vs Best friend, and he's gonna put all 29 other guys
on the list. The Panel gives some more thoughts, and Booker T talks about
his experiences in the Rumble match, and then we go to our 2nd kickoff
match.
2ND KICKOFF MATCH: Cesaro &
Sheamus (c) vs Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (WWE RAW Tag Team Titles; Two
referees assigned)
- Why are two refs assigned? You don't get it, I don't
get it, but there are two refs, it's new, so it's cool, I GUESS. The Club
are out first followed by the Raw Tag champs. The match goes 16 minutes,
and there's a spot where both teams are in the ring brawling, and then
Cesaro grabs Anderson's legs and takes him swinging while Sheamus has
Gallows against the ropes on the apron and simultaneously does his 10
Beats of the Bodhran. Another spot in the match is Cesaro nailing Gallows
with a Neutralizer off the steps onto the floor on the outside. The match
ends after Gallows eats the Neutralizer on the outside, and Anderson is on
the apron facing the ramp, and he jumps onto the top rope for a
Springboard move, but Cesaro jumps up out of nowhere and nails Anderson
with an Uppercut to the back of his head, and then Karl loses balances and
falls into the ring right into a Brogue Kick from Sheamus. Anderson and
Gallows look like geeks again, but don't worry. At least this time they
are actually taken out by huge moves that are believable to end the match
with, and title changes should never happen on Pre-Shows.... The Club and
the champs would meet again later in the Rumble match, and you'll see what
happens with that in Part 2 in the Rumble match. It would lead to Sheasaro
defending the titles against the Club one more time in a tag team Steel
Cage match, and Gallows and Anderson would finally get the win CLEAN there
and the tag titles they so deserve.
WINNERS and STILL WWE RAW TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS: Cesaro & Sheamus
- We get the SML with The Wyatt Family, and Bray answers
all the questions while Harper and Orton just stare each other down the
entire time. Bray takes questions about if the Wyatts, more specifically
Randy and Harper, are slipping apart. He says no, the family is stronger
than ever, and then they leave to go prepare for the Rumble match, which
Bray proclaims that they will win together. The panel gives more
predictions and runs down the show and the previous match. We get to our
final kickoff match.
3RD KICKOFF MATCH: Becky Lynch,
Nikki Bella & Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James & Natalya
- Mickie has been great since her return, and it's great
to see her back. She and Alexa have been a good duo from what we've seen
so far. This would be James's first PPV match in over 7 years. The match
goes 17 minutes and the face team gets the win after Becky goes crazy and
beats down both Mickie and Alexa, and then they just walk out on the match
together, leaving only Natalya, and Nikki Bella gets a one-up on Nattie,
hits the Rack Attack 2.0 and gets the win for the faces.
WINNERS: Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella
& Naomi
- We get some final predictions from the panel, and then
HBK says he's not done for the night. He says he has something to say to
the fans in the ring to start off the show. We then go to the main show,
where the Road to Wrestlemania begins.... again.
MAIN SHOW
- We get an opening video package and pyro, we get a
sneak peak at some of the Rumble By The Numbers videos but the full thing
is saved for before the actual match. As Shawn said just before the
kickoff show went off the air, HBK's music hits and he comes out to a huge
hometown pop to kick off the 30th Annual Royal Rumble PPV. He soaks in the
crowd for a minute and then talks about this being the 30th Royal Rumble
PPV. He talks about the history of the PPV, and says that this is an
especially special Rumble. They're returning to the Alamodome for the
first time in 20 years. He talks about the 1997 Rumble and talks about him
winning the WWF Title from Sid in the main event. He talks about how
special that moment was to him. But then he says the main attraction of
every Rumble PPV is the Rumble match itself, where the winner gets a
championship match in the main event of Wrestlemania. He talks about Stone
Cold winning his first Rumble that year, and talks about his history with
Steve. He begins to get serious and talks about him facing Stone Cold at
WM14 and him winning the WWF from him in his final match in 4 years. Shawn
says that to this day he still knows it was a "fluke win". All
of a sudden, the glass shatters and Stone Cold makes his way out to an
explosion of noise from the crowd. Another Texas native. The crowd does
dueling chants for both legends and Stone Cold and HBK exchange some
words. Stone Cold then talks about his 1997 win and talks about how he is
the only man ever to win 3 Rumble matches. Stone Cold calls this year's
Rumble the biggest of all time, and runs down everyone in the Rumble
currently and of course after each name the crowd chants "What".
Stone Cold is in the middle of talking when all of a sudden Curtis Axel's
music hits. Axel speedwalks out and his gear with one of his shirts on and
tells HBK and Stone Cold to hold on a second. He goes on his bit about how
he is still in the 2015 Royal Rumble match, and he was never eliminated.
It would be awesome to see this Axel back. He says HHH never won last
year's Rumble because the 2015 Rumble never ended, and the Rumble tonight
will be canceled because he never got eliminated from 2015. He calls out
all the workers in the back for slouching behind 2 years. Stone Cold and
HBK are ganging up on Axel, throwing insults his way, and then Axel
becomes filled with rage and rips off his shirt, also showing his
Axelmania gimmick, and then says he can take both guys, and puts up his
fists like a geek. Stone Cold & HBK look at each other, shrug, and
then Shawn nails Axel with a Sweet Chin Music. Axel is stunned and
rebounds off the ropes, but Austin goes off the ropes on the other side
and lays out Axel with his Lou Thesz Press and the punches. Stone Cold
then drapes Axel into the corner and hits his Mudhole Stomps. Shawn hits
his signature elbow off the top rope, and then gets Axel up, hits another
SCM, and Axelmania turns around into a Stunner. Stone Cold's music hits
and the legends celebrate, and HBK and Austin both drink a ton of beers to
end the opening segment to the Rumble. We always need our classic
"Legends returning and hitting their moves" segment every once
in a while, and this would be a damn fun way to kick off the Royal Rumble.
We get to our first match.
1ST MATCH: Rich Swann (c) vs Neville
(WWE Cruiserweight Title)
- We get a video package before the match, featuring
Neville's return and his plowing through the CW division as of late. We
also get formal ring introductions. Rich Swann is out first followed by
THAHHH KIIIINNNGGG 'UV THE CRUISERWEIGHTS. The match goes 13 minutes, and
hopefully there is some insane action by both guys. Neville works in a
very heel style throughout the match, with pokes to the eyes and such. The
match ends when Swann goes to to top rope, but Neville is right behind him
and hits a clubbing blow to his back, knocking Swann down in a sitting
position. Neville climbs the ropes, too, and hits a MEGA-FRANKENSTEINER
off the top to Swann. Everyone is already making funeral arrangements for
his neck, and then Neville hits a Red Arrow for the win, and the
Cruiserweight Title. Neville would hold the title until a bit past
Wrestlemania, and I usually have the cards for the following PPV at the
end of these posts, but instead I'll just do them for both Fast Lane and
Elimination Chamber, and on those ill have the Wrestlemania card for those
respective brands, but at WM I feel the now traditional of the title
ladder/TLC match should be a 7 man for the CW title to kick off. That
match would be fucking insane. Neville, much deserved, is now finally the
rightful King of the CW's.
WINNER & NEW WWE CRUISERWEIGHT
CHAMPION: Neville
- We get an ad for Tapout.
2ND MATCH: Charlotte (c) vs Bayley
(RAW Women's Title)
- Charlotte is out first followed by Bayley. It'll be interesting
to see which World Title match goes on last before the Rumble. The match
goes 11 minutes, and we get a video package of the history between the two
women. Charlotte retains her title after Bayley is making a comeback, and
all of a sudden Sasha Banks' music hits. Bayley looks to the stage, and is
confused, and she turns around into a spear by Charlotte for the retain.
This would be the beginning of a slow build for the Sasha/Bayley feud, and
a Sasha heel turn, as she could say that some idiot backstage producer
pressed the wrong button, and she really just wants t use Bayley as a
stepping stone to get to Charlotte once again and the Raw Women's title.
WINNER & STILL RAW WOMEN'S
CHAMPION: Charlotte
- We get an advertisement for the Network, and Fast Lane
and Elimination Chamber coming up next month.
3RD MATCH: Kevin Owens (c) vs Roman
Reigns (WWE Universal Title; Chris Jericho suspended above the ring in a Shark
Cage)
- I've been seriously debating which world title match to
put on last before the Rumble, and I'm still not sure, depending on how
I'd have the two matches end, but for now I'd have this one here. Reigns
is out first, followed by Kevin Owens, the longest reigning Universal
Champ of all time, with Chris Jericho, the sacrifice. Jericho is shaking
during his entrance and Owens has to keep telling him to walk on as Y2J
freezes looking at the cage. Owens gives Jericho a peptalk before stepping
into the cage, and then Jericho reluctantly steps in, and then screams for
him to be lowered just as he is raised. We get formal ring introductions.
The match goes 23 minutes, and hopefully is a wild brawl. Some spots are
KO PUP'ing Reigns through a pile of chairs like at HIAC, Reigns is laid
out on a table by Owens, and Owens crushes Roman with a Moonsault through
the table, at one point, Jericho throws down his US Title from the cage,
and Owens wonks Reigns with it, and finally at one point, Owens brings out
a ladder, and sets it up in the usual spot, between the apron and the
barricade wall, which would be the announce table, but now it is on the
stage, in a bridge. Owens goes in to fight Reigns a bit more, and then
later Reigns hits a Superman Punch to Owens, sending him over the ropes
onto the apron, and then Reigns runs off the ropes and hits a spear
through the ropes, sending himself and Owens crashing through the ladder.
After the two recover from that spot, Reigns is up first and gets Owens
up. Reigns tries to whip Owens into the barricade but Owens rebounds and
hits a PUP to Reigns on the floor. Owens sells for a few moments longer.
He looks at Jericho for a few moments, and then hoists himself up, and
falls over the barricade into the crowd. Owens walks over to the control
panel, where the lever to lower and raise the cage is, and throws the guy
sitting there into the crowd like a doll. Owens pulls down the lever and
Jericho is lowered from the cage. Owens runs back to the ring and then
unlocks the door with the key that would be knocked out of the ref's
pocket from a ref bump earlier in the match, and Jericho is set free and
is kayfabe crying tears of joy and relief and the two hug. JeriKO is
having a moment and they don't notice Roman Reigns run back in with a
chair, and he whacks them both. Jericho is down now, and Reigns is running
wild. Reigns and Owens have had pretty even offense throughout the match,
and have beat the everloving shit out of each other, but now Reigns is
coming back. Reigns hits a Superman punch and all his moves on both guys.
Reigns spears Jericho out of his boots into the corner. He's about to hit
a finishing Spear on Owens to win another World Title, when all of a
sudden Reigns is knocked out by a shot to the back of the head with the UV
Title. The man has a hood on, and we can't see who it is. Owens and
Jericho are down but are leaning against the ropes, beaten and battered,
and look scared and shocked. The man approaches the two, and helps them
up. Owens is confused and the man pulls up his hood, and it's revealed to
be SAMOA JOE. Joe smiles and tells Owens to go get the pin, and as Owens
goes to pin Reigns, Joe spins Owens around, gets him up on his shoulders,
and hits the first Muscle Buster of the main roster. Samoa godamn Joe
works for no one. Jericho looks like he's just seen a ghost and tries to
squirm out of the ring, but Joe grabs his foot, and locks Jericho in the
Koji Clutch until all the refs and trainers in the back have to clear out
to clear up the scene. Joe destroys and throws every single ref and
trainer out of the ring, and then once again focuses on Reigns and hits a
Middle Rope Muscle Buster. There are limp bodies everywhere, and the
commentators don't say a word during the attack. Joe eyes the UV Title he
attacked Reigns with initially, and holds it up in front of his wake of
destruction. Joe then drapes the title across KO's waist, and exits the
ring and the screen goes black as he exits the arena through the crowd,
not looking up at all. It's declared the next night on RAW that the match
ended and Owens retained due to referee stoppage. This would eventually
lead to Samoa Joe vs Roman Reigns for the UV Title at Mania. Samoan vs
Samoan. Monster vs Monster. You know Reigns is gonna be champ in some form
at WM, so why not have the match against a formidable opponent?
WINNER & STILL UNIVERSAL
CHAMPION: Kevin Owens
- We get a recap of what just happened, and then we go to
the kickoff panel for their thoughts. We then go to our final match before
the ROYAL RUMBLE.
4TH MATCH: AJ Styles (c) vs John
Cena (WWE Championship)
- Here we go. This is the one match on the card I have
had absolutely no idea who should win. (Besides the Rumble). I feel like
this match should go on last before the Rumble because this has been a
long feud between two great wrestlers. Will Cena achieve his 16th World
Title reign? Or will AJ Styles go 3-0 on Cena in singles matches and will
Cena really turn out to be just a "Lazy Part-Timer" who has
"Lost his touch"? Cena is out first, followed by AJ. The match
goes 35 minutes. If any match is going to go 35 minutes, it's going to be
the final battle between these two. The match is full of great
storytelling, and Cena and AJ bust out all the moves in wrestling ever to
make this their best encounter yet. There are the closest near-falls
you've ever seen. Finishers kicked out of, and at one point Cena and
Styles brawl onto the ramp, and Cena hits an AA to Styles through the
table, and Styles rolls over off the platform where the announce table is.
Cena jumps down and runs over to the ring, just beating the 10 count, with
AJ on his shoulders, and gets the pin. AJ kicks out. Cena hits two more
consecutive AA's. Styles gets his foot on the rope. Cena plays a more
desperate style throughout the match. These two want to head into Wrestlemania
as the champion. The WAR finally ends when Styles hits a Phenomenal
Forearm, kayfabe breaking Cena's nose, and fake blood splatters from his
face. Styles gets the 1.2.3. After the match, it's the heel, AJ Styles,
who first offers the handshake to an exhausted Cena. The crowd chants Yes
after the possible MOTY and Cena gets up and accepts the handshake, as the
battle wounds on both men show heavily. Just before Cena accepts though,
he eyes the WM sign, and then the title. Styles and Cena shake, and AJ
tries to let go but Cena won't let go of his hand. Cena looks like he's
having a mini mental breakdown and then pulls Styles by his hand into
himself, gets him on his shoulders, and delivers an AA. After the AA, the
crowd gasps, and Cena backs up, falling wide-eyed into the corner. Cena
looks as if he doesn't realize or know what he's just done. He can't
control himself. He knows, despite him denying his opponents that he's old
news. He's losing his spot at the top. It's slipping away. He wanted that
16th world title. Cena slowly rolls out of the ring, and gestures to
Styles as if saying "I'm sorry", and then walks to the back with
his head in his hands. Cena would continue this insane character,
attacking people "out of his control", leading to a more desperate
to stay the titan of the company character, which would ultimately lead,
if not at WM33, possibly a few year build, to the ultimate John Cena Heel
Turn.
WINNER & STILL WWE CHAMPION: AJ
Styles
Well, that was Part 1 of The Royal
Rumble. Be sure to look out for Part 2, the Royal Rumble match, later today.
Get ready for Part 2. The winner may
surprise you. It's the Royal Rumble match. 30 men. One winner. The surprises.
The returns. The debuts. The shock. The awe. The saves. The Road. To
Wrestlemania.
