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Hey everyone! Ever since Night Of Champions 2015, through multiple accounts, before major WWE pay-per-views every month, I’ve come on here and booked the cards to make them as exciting, intriguing, and best possible scenarios for the future. I do both NXT and main-roster pay-per-views, as well as the occasional big milestone RAW or Smackdown weekly show. Without further ado, here is how WWE should book Hell In A Cell 2021!
MY HELL IN A CELL PPV POSTS OF PREVIOUS YEARS:
2015: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2015/10/how-wwe-should-book-hell-in-cell-2015.html
2016: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2016/10/how-wwe-should-book-hell-in-cell-2016.html
2017: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2017/10/how-wwe-should-book-hell-in-cell-2017.html
2018: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2018/09/how-wwe-should-book-hell-in-cell-2018.html
2019: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2019/10/how-wwe-should-book-hell-in-cell-2019.html
2020: Didn’t do one.
MAIN SHOW
- It’s that time of year once again: Hell In A Cell! Is it October, meaning that the scariest and deadliest WWE match stipulation has been saved for the spookiest month of them all? No! It’s June! Oh… uh, well okay. Have they moved the PPV up because there’s just so many interpersonal, violent and long-storied blood feuds that can ONLY end when two competitors are forced to battle it out inside the cell?! No, it’s just that we have a monthly PPV quota to fulfill and it’s all purely branding. We didn’t really start planning the card until 2 weeks before the PPV, or what matches desere the Cell. We kind of just picked rematches out of a hat. Goddamn all jokes aside the Hell In A Cell PPV and match concept itself is SO DEAD. Rey/Roman was moved to SmackDown and we still don’t know why. But I can guess. Is it because we needed to make room for the cell to house a match for the SmackDown Women’s Championship BUILT AROUND HAHA LAUGHING AT EACH OTHER. Fuck this is the worst PPV card in a long time. Just the worst mix of lazy booking, tired rematches, artificial tension, ingenuine and contrived build of nearly all the feuds, a show that didn’t even have 5 matches by the Friday before, and the overall souring and neutering of the HIAC concept. This PPV NEEDS to go away. Gimmick PPV’s NEED to go away. I didn’t even know whether there was a fucking point in doing a post for this PPV because I didn’t really have any big out-of-the-box ideas besides for the finish of the main event, because HOW can you possibly be creative for a show where you’ve already seen everything before? It’s the age old ancient chinese proverb, “If they don’t care, why should I?” But by god, I’ve been taking on this challenge of trying to improve WWE and create an intriguing PPV show that sets up for the long-term future for many years now. And that’s what we will semi-enthusiastically attempt to do with this inconsequential disaster of a PPV build.
1ST MATCH: Bianca Belair (c) vs. Bayley (Hell In A Cell match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship)
- Bayley is out first, followed by Bianca Belair. We get formal ring introductions, and the ominous music plays, the lights flash all around the ring, and the Cell lowers as the referee holds up the title in the center of the ring. The match gets 16 minutes. They’ll have another good match again. But man this is just indicative of how small the division of people they trust is. It’ll be Bayley for Bianca every PPV until SummerSlam where it’s Sasha again. It’s rough. I’ve already hammered this point into your brain with an ice pick, but this is a feud built around WHOSE LAUGH IS MORE ANNOYING, and it’s a Hell In A Cell match. Fuck, everything sucks. Why couldn’t it have been Bianca Belair vs. Bayley II, Funnybone for a Funnybone match? Can we please stop forcing matches inside the cell just because it’s a women’s match and we have to “make history” every year for some reason? The gender doesn’t matter. The match deserves the cell only if the story is right. I thought this feud might be leaning towards a natural progression of turning into a Hair vs. Hair, you could’ve had Bayley daring Bianca to put on the line part of what makes her so special and what makes her stand out, her long ponytail braid. I’m sure Bayley would be down to get her head shaved for the cause. That would’ve at least added something valuable and an intriguing selling point to the feud, and maybe they can stretch this out to MITB and do Hair vs. Hair there, but no, laughing at each other every week is a feud that even the demonic Hell In A Cell cannot contain!!!! Anyways… let’s end this mess of a ramble. Bianca gets the win and the match ends when Bayley goes up to the top rope for her signature elbow drop, but Bianca, showing her athletic prowess, leaps up to the top rope to meet Bayley there. Bayley tries to wrap her arms around Bianca, teasing a Bayley To Belly off the top rope, but Bianca fights out of it and then backflips off the top rope, landing on her feet. Bianca then scoops Bayley up onto her shoulders off the top rope, and nails a KOD that sends Bayley face-first onto a steel chair introduced earlier in the match. It’s no secret, the return of Sasha Banks is imminent. Bianca vs. Sasha II in a SummerSlam rematch of the WrestleMania Night 1 main event, for the SmackDown Women’s Championship, is the biggest singles match you can possibly promote right now with any of the women on that brand.
WINNER by PINFALL and STILL WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion: Bianca Belair
- We get an ad for WWE Shop, followed by shots of both Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre entering the building earlier in the day. We get a video package for our next match, and then a backstage shot of Shayna Baszler walking up to gorilla position, as Alexa Bliss related dolls appear in the shots during her walk-up.
2ND MATCH: Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler (w/ Nia Jax and Reginald) (Singles match)
- Shayna Baszler is out first, followed by Alexa Bliss. I’m not even going to waste my time on this. Put this on second so that you have a hot opener, then it’ll drop off temporarily with the worst match of the night immediately following it, and then it’s all uphill from there, so it doesn’t seem as bad in the end being compacted by everything else on the show that was quality. I’ll give it 5 minutes and no more. Alexa Bliss wins after causing the gravitational pull of the sun to stop, and the entire planet of Earth literally drops into the never-ending abyss of the universe, instantaneously compromising Shayna Baszler and friends to a permanent end.
WINNER by some bullshit: Alexa Bliss
- We get an ad for the cities that WWE is returning to on their tour this summer, because it will be funny to air this right after the magic doll stuff. It’ll be almost as if they’re daring you to buy tickets.
3RD MATCH: Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins (Singles match)
- Now, after the bullshittery that is Alexa Bliss and her magic doll, let’s bookend that with a very good one on one professional wrestling match as sort of a pallet cleanser. Seth Rollins is out first, followed by Cesaro, whose entrance is stopped short as Rollins doesn’t feel like waiting for the bell to ring and rushes Cesaro on the ramp, and the two men begin brawling around ringside. Rollins, the heel, gets the advantage before the match has even begun, as Cesaro begins the match hurting after Rollins sends him right into the ringpost with a running Powerbomb. The match gets 12 minutes. I would say I hope Cesaro delivers the 100-rotation swing here, but it would be wasted in front of the Thunderdome, and if he didn’t do it at WrestleMania in front of fans, I don’t think it’s something we’re going to see, unfortunately. Does it really matter who gets the victory here at this point in the feud? Will it really affect either man in who wins and who loses? I mean, they’ll both probably still make it into the Money In The Bank ladder match next month. And that sucks, because wins and losses should matter, but they really just absolutely don’t in WWE nowadays. I think it’s fair to say that Cesaro must get the win here over Rollins. Cesaro was taken out on a stretcher just a few weeks ago at the hands of Rollins. He’s been out and brutally attacked by Seth at every turn, and plus he was bucklebombed into the ringpost before the match and fought his way back up for the win. The match ends when Rollins goes for the Curb Stomp, but we get an RKO from WrestleMania 31 moment as Rollins flies up into the air on Cesaro’s head, and Cesaro hits an uppercut on Seth on his way down. Cesaro then hits the Neutralizer for the pin. From here, you can either have both these guys in MITB, or you can put them in a qualifying match against each other, which I’d honestly have Rollins come out on top in, as I think he’d be the better and more interesting fit for the ladder match. Cesaro looks very good here with another big victory over Rollins and seals his payback from all the attacks in recent weeks. Now end this feud, please.
WINNER by PINFALL: Cesaro
- We get an official ad for the upcoming Money In The Bank PPV next month.
4TH MATCH: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn (Singles match)
- Kevin Owens is out first, followed by Sami Zayn. The match gets 10 minutes. This feud is SO TIRED and they are dragging it’s dead carcass through the mud and dirt. Please, no more after this. That being said, it is an Owens/Zayn match, and it’ll be good for the in-ring if nothing else. The match ends dirty as both Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez come down to ringside to get a better view of the action. Owens tries to provoke them both to come fight him. Zayn hits a Blue Thunderbomb on Owens for a nearfall. Zayn whips Owens into the corner and goes for the Helluva Kick, but Owens sidesteps and the ref accidentally gets in the way. Ref bump. This prompts Azeez to accept Owens’ earlier invitation, who gets in the ring after Apollo barks instructions for Azeez to spike Owens again in the throat with the Nigerian Nail. Owens goes down and in the process of hacking up a lung, he makes the mistake of leaning against the turnbuckle, perfectly in position for Zayn to deliver on the Helluva Kick this time for the victory once the referee recovers. The Apollo/Owens program over the IC Title continues from here, and Zayn can go onto other things. I’m really struggling here. Pretty much trying to write about this entire PPV. There’s only so many times you can creatively book the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over (did I mention “and over”?) and over again until you can feel yourself going insane. WWE TV programming desperately needs a refresh.
WINNER by PINFALL: Sami Zayn
- We get an ad for WWE on Peacock, followed by a backstage interview with MVP, who speaks on the main event match for the WWE Championship.
5TH MATCH: Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair (Singles match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship)
- Charlotte is out first, followed by Rhea Ripley. The match gets 17 minutes. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think you have to have Rhea drop the title to Charlotte eventually because I honestly feel like the biggest RAW Women's Title match you could put on right now for SummerSlam is Charlotte/Alexa Bliss. Rhea’s title reign reminds me vaguely of Randy Orton’s run with the WHC in 2004, when he completely bombed and it was just far too early and far before he was ready. In this specific instance, I’d have Rhea go over, just so we can prove that Rhea CAN beat Charlotte, and to just extend Ripley’s reign that little bit more, but I’d give them one more rematch at MITB, in a stipulation like a Falls Count Anywhere, where Charlotte can get the title in a malicious way that won’t necessarily hurt Rhea by taking it off her or making her look too weak. The match ends after a Riptide to Charlotte.
WINNER by PINFALL and STILL WWE RAW Women’s Champion: Rhea Ripley
- We get an ad for the Covid Vaccine from WWE Wrestlers, followed by another Money In The Bank PPV teaser. We get a video package four our next match.
6TH MATCH: Bobby Lashley (c) (w/ MVP) vs. Drew McIntyre (“Last Chance” Hell In A Cell match for the WWE Championship, where if McIntyre loses, he can no longer challenge for the WWE Championship as long as Lashley is champion)
- McIntyre is out first, followed by Lashley. The match gets 22 minutes. It’s physical as hell and they slam each other into the cell walls, utilizing the environment around them. Lots of power moves and weapon shots, high-impact moves. I’ve made it known in these posts lately that Lashley vs. Lesnar is the match to do at SummerSlam, in the Fight Pit, for the WWE Championship. And I am very much still on that train. Bearing this in mind, All I know is that I need, at some point in this match, for Drew McIntyre to get ahold of his sword and CUT THROUGH THE CELL WALL to escape so he can brawl on the outside with Bobby. The match ends when Lashley devastates McIntyre by snapping him in half with a spear. Then, looking straight down the lens of the camera like the barrel of a shotgun, Lashley hits an F-5 for the victory, and that is enough to retain. This way, it’s a cheeky way of Lashley provoking and calling out Lesnar by getting the win by stealing his finishing move, AND it can potentially set up for another Lesnar vs. McIntyre match in the near future, on the basis of McIntyre having been pinned for the first time by that move after he kicked out of them all at WrestleMania 36. It creates for a big triangle web of roads you can go down in the coming months. With this crushing loss, McIntyre can no longer challenge for the title anymore as long as Lashley is still champion, and after this night, it doesn’t seem as if the All-Mighty era is going to end any time soon. The PPV ends with MVP draping the belt over Lashley’s shoulder, as Lashley again looks right down the hard cam, and mocks Lesnar’s little bounce that he does. The Beast has officially been called out by Bobby Lashley.
WINNER by PINFALL and STILL WWE Champion: Bobby Lashley
FINAL RESULTS:
| No. | Results | Stipulations | Times |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bianca Belair (c) defeated Bayley by Pinfall | Hell In A Cell match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship | 16 minutes |
| 2 | Alexa Bliss defeated Shayna Baszler (w/ Nia Jax and Reginald) | Singles match | 5 minutes |
| 3 | Cesaro defeated Seth Rollins by Pinfall | Singles match | 12 minutes |
| 4 | Sami Zayn (w/ Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez) defeated Kevin Owens by Pinfall | Singles match | 10 minutes |
| 5 | Rhea Ripley (c) defeated Charlotte Flair by Pinfall | Singles match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship | 17 minutes |
| 6 | Bobby Lashley (c) (w/ MVP) defeated Drew McIntyre by Pinfall with an F-5 | “Last Chance” Hell In A Cell match for the WWE Championship, where if McIntyre loses, he can no longer challenge for the WWE Championship as long as Lashley is champion | 22 minutes |
MY CARD FOR MONEY IN THE BANK 2021 (July 18, 2021, Dickies Arena, Fort Worth, TX)
| No. | Matches | Stipulations |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Angel Garza (RAW) vs. Big E (SmackDown) vs. Cesaro (SmackDown) vs. Chad Gable (SmackDown) vs. Damian Priest (RAW) vs. Drew McIntyre (RAW) vs. Jeff Hardy (RAW) vs. Keith Lee (RAW) vs. Kevin Owens (SmackDown) vs. Seth Rollins (SmackDown) | Men’s Money In The Bank Ladder match for a World Championship match contract |
| 2 | Alexa Bliss (RAW) vs. Asuka (RAW) vs. Carmella (SmackDown) vs. Io Shirai (SmackDown) vs. Liv Morgan (SmackDown) vs. Naomi (RAW) vs. Sasha Banks (SmackDown) vs. Shayna Baszler (RAW) | Women’s Money In The Bank Ladder match for a Women’s Championship match contract |
| 3 | Bobby Lashley (c) (w/ MVP) vs. vs. Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin | 1-on-2 Handicap match for the WWE Championship |
| 4 | Roman Reigns (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Jimmy Uso with Jey Uso in a neutral corner | Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship |
| 5 | Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair | Falls Count Anywhere match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship |
| 6 | Bianca Belair (c) vs. Bayley | Hair vs. Hair match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship |
| 7 | AJ Styles and Omos (c) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) vs. RK-Bro (Randy Orton and Riddle) | Triple Threat Tag Team match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship |
| PRE-SHOW | Sheamus (c) vs. Humberto Carillo vs. Mustafa Ali vs. Ricochet | Fatal 4-Way Elimination match for the WWE United States Championship |
Well, that was the post. Thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you liked and/or what you didn’t like from the post, and what from the post you’d like to see actually happen on the show! Be sure to look out for my next post for the upcoming PPV, “How WWE Should Book Money In The Bank 2021” Enjoy the show, everyone.
