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**Hey everyone! I love to write and I love wrestling so ever
since Night Of Champions 2015, through multiple accounts, I have been fantasy
booking WWE PPV's in detail, and have been a wrestling fan since 2005. If you
want, you can read some past editions of these by clicking on my name and
searching. Without further ado, here is How WWE Should Book Wrestlemania 34.
Here’s where it all begins again**.
> MY WRESTLEMANIA POSTS FROM PREVIOUS YEARS:
* Wrestlemania 32: https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/4d7t16/how_wwe_should_book_wrestlemania_32_part_4/
* Wrestlemania 33: https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/631094/how_wwe_should_book_wrestlemania_33/
> KICKOFF SHOW:
* Once again, oh god….. Two hour pre-show…. **Social Media
Lounge segments are announced earlier in the day with The Miz, AJ Styles,
Charlotte and Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon together**. We get the usual panel
of Renee Young, Jerry Lawler, Booker T and Lita, as various legends appear
throughout. As usual, they hype up the matches and give their predictions and
we see video packages and highlights of Mania week. About 30 minutes in, we get
the SML with The Miz, and our first kickoff match.
**1ST KICKOFF MATCH: 2018 Andre The Giant Memorial Battle
Royal**
* Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler come out to call the match. All
the geeks come out together to the Wrestlemania theme song, except for the big
guys. The Revival, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley, Matt Hardy all get their own
entrances. **The match goes 14 minutes**. If you wanna have some surprises like
WM32, Road Dogg and the Boogeyman could be some fun ones. This match could see
quite a few returns. There have been rumors running rampant of Big Cass being a
possible winner, Samoa Joe being a possible winner, Bray Wyatt, Elias. I don’t
think Bray Wyatt should come back for a few more weeks. Let people forget about
him before he comes back as something completely new. He’s gonna be getting a
HUGE angle later in the main show in this post. As far as Big Cass and Samoa
Joe, if either were in the match I’d have them win it, but WWE doesn’t usually
have major returns until the shows after Wrestlemania, so I think it’s
unlikely. **Eliminated first is Primo. Obviously. The final four are Matt
Hardy, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley, and Elias. Elias gets clotheslined over the
top to the apron by Corbin, and then Mojo runs punts him to the floor. Mojo gets
eliminated after coming off the top rope, and Corbin catches him into a Deep
Six over the top. The last two guys are Baron Corbin and Matt Hardy. The two
have a mini-match for 2-3 minutes, and Matt reverses an End Of Days into a
Twist Of Fate. Corbin stumbles back to his feet and Matt does Delete and
clotheslines him over the top rope. Matt celebrates but the bell doesn’t ring
yet as FROM BEHIND HEATH SLATER, WHO ROLLED UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE EARLIER IN
THE MATCH, BLASTS MATT FROM BEHIND. SLATER TRIES TO DUMP MATT OVER THE TOP, BUT
MATT KICKS HIM BACK AND DOES DELETE. MATT HITS A TWIST OF FATE AND THEN
VANGUARD 1 FLIES IN AND HELPS MATT KNOCK SLATER OVER THE TOP**.
**WINNER by last eliminating Heath Slater: Matt Hardy**
* We get more video packages and match previews from the
panel for a while. After about 15 minutes, we get to the Social Media Lounge
with Charlotte, and then get to our second kickoff match to close out hour one.
**2ND KICKOFF MATCH: 2018 Wrestlemania Women’s Battle
Royal**
* All of the Women now come out to the Wrestlemania theme,
while Becky Lynch, Bayley, Sasha Banks and Carmella get their own entrances.
**The match goes 18 minutes**. You might think that’s too long, but it’s for a
reason. **Eliminated first is Dana Brooke. The final four are Becky, Sasha,
Bayley and Ruby Riott. The three of four horsewomen team up to dump Riott over
the top, and then they all turn on each other and put on a Triple Threat match
on their own for 10 minutes. These three go ALL out as if it was their own match.
They prove why they deserve to be on the main card. Becky Bayley and Sasha go
wild on each other for 10 minutes. Bank Statements, Bayley to Bellies,
Disarmhers, Frogsplashes, Hurricanranas. Bayley and Sasha eventually decide to
team up to eliminate Becky, but Sasha gets behind Bayley and throws her out.
Becky also goes over the top but hangs on and lands onto the apron. Sasha
celebrates, thinking she won but Becky comes back in and throws Sasha over.
Becky is really the only one out of the horsewomen that hasn’t had her big
moment, so I really think she needs this win. Sasha screwing Bayley again adds
to their rivalry. Becky gets a big unexpected win and hopefully this launches
her into a big program, as I’d have her go to RAW after Wrestlemania.
**WINNER by last eliminating Sasha Banks: Becky Lynch**
* We get the Social Media Lounge with Bryan and Shane and
Shane takes questions about his recovery from his injuries and diverticulitis.
Since Shane recovered from the same disease as Brock Lesnar and Vince McMahon
in an 8th of the time, that makes him the greatest wrestler in the world. **
* We go now to the second hour as the show begins on USA
Network. The panel talks some more and with about 30 minutes left until the
main show begins, we get to our final kickoff match. I sure wish this would’ve
opened the main card after all the work that has gone into the revitalization,
but I suppose with how many people will be watching on the USA network, this
will be a good thing.
**3RD
KICKOFF MATCH: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali (Tournament final for the
Vacant WWE Cruiserweight Championship)**
* Cedric
is out first followed by Ali. Just like Aries and Neville did last year, these
two could have the match of the night in the pre-show. **The match goes 23
minutes**. I couldn’t even try to list some spots if I tried because they’ll
top them all and blow our minds. **The match ends after CEDRIC CATCHES A 450
SPLASH FROM ALI AND NAILS A LUMBAR CHECK THAT SENDS MUSTAFA ALI 7,334,824 INTO
THE AIR**. Ever since the CWC, Cedric has pretty much been the guy that they’ve
always been trying to crown as the top guy of the cruiserweights, especially
now with Neville and Enzo out. And post-WM we’ll get Cedric vs. Buddy Murphy.
That is orgasmic.
**WINNER
and NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion by Pinfall: Cedric Alexander**
* The panel gives their final predictions, we get the AJ
Styles SML, and then we get to the main show, the grandest stage of them all,
the biggest show in professional wrestling of the calendar year, WRESTLEMANIA.
> MAIN SHOW:
* We get the Then Now Forever opening trademark, and then
cut to a wide shot of the arena full of fans as *Chloe X Halle* stand in the
ring to perform America The Beautiful. After they sing, we maybe get AMERICA
pyro maybe, and then we get the opening Wrestlemania video package. The boyhood
dream has come true. The Austin Era has begun. Austin has sold his soul. Once
in a lifetime. HE’S SLAMMED HIM. The heist of the century. The miracle kid. The
streak is over. Savage and Elizabeth reunite. Things are about to be broken.
The day has come. Wrestlemania is here.
**1ST MATCH: Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens
and Sami Zayn (Tag team match; If Owens and Zayn win, they will be rehired to
Smackdown)**
* If it wasn’t gonna be the Cruiserweights, what better way
to kick off Wrestlemania than with the return of DANIEL BRYAN? We get a
pre-match video package, and then Daniel Bryan comes out and Yeses down the
ramp. Diverticulhernia Man is out next, hopefully not dead, and lots of money
rains down from the ceiling. Owens and Zayn come out next. **The match goes 18
minutes**. Funny how months ago when Bryan was rumored to be returning before
WM, this match was suggested with Shane doing most of the work and Bryan doing
little, and now it’s going to be the other way around. Here are some spots in
the match:
* At one point in the match, if Shane is insane enough to
do it with diverticulitis, Shane knocks Sami Zayn onto the announce table with
a monitor and then goes up to the top rope. He jumps and hits the Leap Of Faith
Elbow, but Zayn of course gets out of the way. Shane is down and out and Zayn
stumbles away from the scene, but turns around into a Running Knee from Bryan
on the outside. Bryan is fired up but he suffers an Apron Powerbomb from Owens.
* Zayn tries his Torpedo DDT through the ringpost but Bryan
kicks his head off.
* Owens and Zayn are both down in opposite corners of the
ring. Shane and Bryan both get garbage cans and shove them in their faces.
Shane hits a Coast To Coast on Zayn as Bryan hits a Missile Dropkick off the
top on Owens.
The madness ends after Bryan taps out Owens to the Yes
Lock. For the first time in 3 years, Daniel Bryan is victorious in a wrestling
match. There should be no heel turn, and it’s really as simple as Daniel Bryan
should not lose his return match, and Owens and Zayn would go to RAW
post-mania, otherwise it would just be awkward with them just magically not
hating each other anymore while still on the same brand.
**WINNERS by Submission: Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon**
* We get a backstage interview with Carmella and Charly
Caruso. This is VERY IMPORTANT. Charly asks if Carmella has any intentions to
cash in tonight, and she says YES. She very vaguely tells “the women of the
Women’s Title Match” to watch out, as tonight, she doesn’t care who wins, she’s
going to walk out of the Superdome as a “women’s champion”.
**2ND MATCH: Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder
Mahal vs. Rusev (Fatal 4-Way match for the WWE United States Championship)**
* Orton is out first with the giant sperm following him on
the ramp again, followed by Jinder Mahal in a fancy Punjabi entrance, Bobby
Roode on a GIANT podium with a chorus singing his theme, and finally we see
Rusev and Aiden English return with his tank. **The match goes 15 minutes**.
Before Rusev was added in, this was an absolute piss-break match, but now it
could really be something. Give these guys a considerable amount of time to do
something good, but not too long. **Rusev ends up picking up the win in the
midst of an Accolade Frenzy as he makes Orton pass out**. RUSEV IS ABSOLUTELY
THE ONLY CHOICE. WWE, HE IS YOUR MOST OVER WRESTLER IN YOUR COMPANY. IF YOU DO
NOT GIVE RUSEV THIS CHAMPIONSHIP, YOU ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE. THANK YOU.
**WINNER and NEW WWE United States Champion by Submission:
Rusev**
* We get an ad for Tapout.
**3RD MATCH: The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) (c) vs. Braun
Strowman and ??? (Tag team match for the WWE RAW Tag Team Championships)**
* The Bar are out first in kilts followed by BRAAAUUUUNNN.
Braun walks down the ramp but stops just outside the ring with a microphone.
Braun talks a bit about how he’ll beat The Bar so badly that they can’t move.
**Braun brings out his partner, and it’s one of two men. The much less likely
in Batista, or the one I’m gonna pick, the returning NEVILLE**. Neville gets a
monster pop. This guy deserves to graduate 205 already. He is much much better.
**The match goes 11 minutes**. I don’t know if the fans will want to pay
attention for much longer, even considering the talent in this match. That’s
about the life this match will last for. This needs to be relatively short or
else it will die a death. **The match ends after Braun nails Sheamus with a
Running Powerslam and then Neville hits the first Red Arrow in 7 months to
capture the titles**.
**WINNERS and NEW WWE RAW Tag Team Champions by Pinfall:
Braun Strowman and Neville**
* The commentators plug and thank *Rocket League*, one of
the sponsors of the show. We then cut backstage and see AJ Styles prepping
himself in his locker room.
**4TH MATCH: Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax (Singles match for
the WWE RAW Women’s Championship)**
* Nia is out first followed by Bliss. **The actual match
lasts 5 minutes**. Don’t kid yourself, this isn’t going to be anything amazing.
This needs to be an absolute SQUASH of Alexa Bliss. Jax blasts her down
mid-entrance and the bell rings. Nia throws her over the announce tables,
spears her through the timekeepers area, trying not to kill this small, small
woman, absolutely destroys her. Legdrop after legdrop after legdrop. **Nia goes
for a second-rope legdrop to finish it off, but Bliss runs up and nails her DDT
off the second rope to the mat. Both women are absolutely OUT. All of a sudden,
CARMELLA’S MUSIC HITS. SMACKDOWN SUPERSTAR CARMELLA THROWS HER BREIFCASE TO THE
REF AND JOJO ANNOUNCES SHE IS CASHING IN HER CONTRACT. THE BELL RINGS, CARMELLA
PUNTS JAX OUT OF THE RING, AND COVERS ALEXA TO STEAL THE TITLE**. If you’re
gonna have Carmella ever cash in before the next MITB, this is the place to do
it. She’s not gonna cash in on Asuka or Charlotte, that match should be
untouched. *Carmella vs Nia Jax would happen at Backlash*.
**WINNER and NEW WWE RAW Women’s Champion: Carmella**
* We see Shinsuke Nakamura in his locker room, preparing
for match. **We pan back to the arena and JOHN CENA APPEARS IN A SKYBOX AS A
FAN IN THE TOP OF THE ARENA. Cena calls out Taker again to no luck**.
**5TH MATCH: The Miz (c) vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins
(Triple threat match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship)**
* Balor is out first, not as a Demon. Even though this is
Wrestlemania, this match simply doesn’t call for it. He is the New Orleans
Swamp Monster. Rollins is out next, and I hope he does a Crossfit Jesus
entrance. I suggested it last year and cried very hard when they didn’t do it.
Miz is out last and walks down a huge red carpet. **The match goes 24
minutes**. The guys recreate some of the insane spots from their RAW match, and
from inside the Elimination Chamber where they began the match. **Balor gets
the win after a DOUBLE COUP DE GRACE WITH MIZ LAYING ON TOP OF ROLLINS**. Miz’s
time is about up to be champion, and Rollins shouldn’t win if the rumor is that
he’s gonna begin chasing a World Title again, presumably against Reigns. Balor
is the one that will most benefit from the win.
**WINNER and NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion by Pinfall:
Finn Balor**
* We see Kurt Angle talking backstage with Ronda Rousey.
The Usos walk in and Angle says that he’s glad they're here. He informs them
that their match is next, and that it’s been made a TLC match.
**6TH MATCH: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey) (c) vs. The Bludgeon
Brothers (Harper and Rowan) vs. The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston; w/ Xavier
Woods) (Triple Threat TLC Tag team match for the WWE Smackdown Tag Team
Championships)**
* FINALLY. THE USOS HAVE MADE THE MAIN CARD OF
WRESTLEMANIA. 9 LONG YEARS. The Uces are out first, followed by the Bludgeons,
and finally New Day. I predict Harper will be the MVP of this match and prove
why he deserved to be in the WWE Title match last year at 33. **The match goes
17 minutes**. The Bludgeons get the win by pummeling the other 5 men deep into
the Earth’s core with their bludgeoning hammers, and then Harper and Rowan both
climb up high to grab the titles.
**WINNERS and NEW WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions: The
Bludgeon Brothers**
* We go up to the Kickoff panel for their thoughts on the
show so far. The commentators plug *Snickers*, another sponsor of the show.
Also the company that got the Women’s Battle Royal name changed for you all.
You’re welcome.
**7TH MATCH: Charlotte (c) vs. Asuka (Singles match for the
WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship)**
* Asuka is out first followed by Charlotte. **The match
goes 19 minutes** This could very well be the greatest WWE women’s match of all
time of these two truly go all out. The two meshed well together in the MMC
finals, so I have high hopes. Asuka gets the win after Charlotte passes out in
the Asuka Lock. Asuka holds this title until Wrestlemania 35, where she and
Ronda Rousey meet in the main event. That is absolutely the only route that
should be taken here.
**WINNER and NEW WWE Smackdown Women’s Champion by
Submission: Asuka**
* We get the segment with all of the Hall Of Famers coming
out on the stage. They all get introductions and Goldberg makes his own
entrance from the back, as the headliner always does.
***8TH MATCH: Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and
Stephanie McMahon (Mixed Tag Team match)**
* HHH and Stephanie are out first with lots of skulls and
more skulls and also skulls. Kurt and Ronda out next. **The match goes 10
minutes**. Not more. Angle and HHH control the first portion of the match and
Rousey and Steph work the last 5 minutes. Ronda keeps trying to grab Steph but
she keeps on going to hide behind HHH. **The match ends as Rousey and Stephanie
are legal and Ronda locks in the Armbar on Steph. HHH rushes in to try to break
it up but Angle hits an Angle Slam on HHH, while Rousey snaps the arm and
Stephanie taps**.
**WINNERS by Submission: Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey**
* We get an ad for the Greatest Royal Rumble.
**9TH MATCH: AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Singles
match for the WWE Championship)**
* Holy shit I can’t believe I just typed that. Insanity.
**Styles is out first followed by Nakamura. The match goes 25 minutes**. They
recreate some spots from their Wrestlekingdom match, there are counters,
brutality, submissions, near-falls, emotion, I hope this will be the perfect
wrestling match. Nakamura gets the win after a Kinsahsa. **At the end of the
match, just like at the end of their WK10 match, the two sit in the ring across
from each other and fistbump**.
**WINNER and NEW WWE Champion by Pinfall: Shinsuke
Nakamura**
* We get an ad for content coming to the WWE Network.
**ELIAS CONCERT SEGMENT**
* It’s time for the greatest performance of the year.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Elias. Elias is wearing a crazy Elvis-like golden jacket
and an electric guitar. Elias sings and disses New Orleans. **THE UNDERTAKER
INTERRUPTS HIM. If he returns as the American Badass, then his music would just
hit and he would ride down around the ring and then get in the ring and
chokeslam Elias, otherwise he would just sneak up behind Elias and chokeslam
him. He gets a mic, pacing around the ring and calls out Cena and addresses all
his comments over the past weeks. Cena’s music hits and he SPRINTS OUT WITH A
REF. THE MATCH IS ON**.
**10TH MATCH: John Cena vs. The Undertaker (Singles
match)**
* The match goes 15 minutes. If Taker is able to work
longer then have it a few minutes longer, but I really don’t want him to die.
Cena does not need this win whatsoever. Taker losing once with the streak was
one thing, losing to Reigns last year made sense too as it set up the main
event, but losing three times to Cena would completely tarnish the legacy of
the streak. Undertaker gets the win after a jumping tombstone, like the one he
finished off Shawn Michaels with at WM26. I’m very confused on how much longer
Taker is gonna go. We’ll see.
**WINNER by Pinfall: The Undertaker**
* The commentators thank Kid Rock for the official theme
songs of the show.
**11TH MATCH: Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) (c) vs. Roman
Reigns (Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship)**
* This is gonna be a bloodbath. Reigns is out first
followed by Brock. **The match goes 25 minutes**. At Wrestlemania 31 these two
proved everyone wrong and put on an absolutely fantastic match. Now this time,
there’s no Seth Rollins as Mr. MITB. **I sure wish that Paul Heyman would turn
on Lesnar and align with Reigns, with Reigns turning heel, but unfortunately
much like John Cena, THIS GUY IS NEVER GOING HEEL**. After a year of build,
Reigns is the man that kicks out of an F-5. They go through announce tables,
use steel chairs, and of course, being coronated for the 4th time, Roman Reigns
hits a Superman Punch and Spear barrage to pin Brock Lesnar, send him off into
the UFC sunset, and become Universal Champion.
**WINNER and NEW WWE Universal Champion: Roman Reigns**
> Final Results:
No. | Results | Stipulations | Times
:--|:--|:--|:--|
1PS| Matt Hardy won the 2018 Andre The Giant Memorial
Battle Royal by last eliminating Heath Slater | TBD-man battle royal for the André the Giant Memorial
Trophy| 14 minutes
2PS | Becky Lynch won the 2018 Wrestlemania Women’s Battle
Royal by last eliminating Sasha Banks | TBD-woman battle royal for the
Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal Trophy | 18 minutes
3PS | Cedric Alexander defeated Mustafa Ali by Pinfall |
Tournament final for the Vacant WWE Cruiserweight Championship | 23 Minutes
4 | Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon defeated Kevin Owens and
Sami Zayn by Submission | Tag team match; If Owens and Zayn win, they will be rehired to SmackDown | 18 Minutes
5 | Rusev defeated Bobby Roode, Jinder Mahal and Randy
Orton (c) by Submission | Fatal 4-way match for the WWE United States
Championship | 15 Minutes
6 | Braun Strowman and Neville defeated The Bar (Cesaro and
Sheamus) (c) by Pinfall | Tag Team match for the WWE RAW Tag Team Championships
| 11 minutes
7 | Carmella defeated Alexa Bliss (c) and Nia Jax by
Pinfall | Triple Threat match for the WWE RAW Women’s Championship; (This was
Carmella’s MITB Cash-In mach) | 8 minutes
8 | Finn Balor defeated The Miz (c) and Seth Rollins by Pinfall
| Triple threat match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship | 24 minutes
9 | The Bludgeon Brothers (Harper and Rowan) defeated The
New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston) (w/ Xavier Woods) and The Usos (Jey and
Jimmy) (c) | Triple Threat Tag Team TLC match for the WWE Smackdown Tag
Team Championships | 17 minutes
10 | Asuka defeated Charlotte (c) by Submission | Singles
match for the WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship | 19 minutes
11 | Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey defeated Triple H and
Stephanie McMahon by Submission | Mixed Tag Team match | 10 minutes
12 | Shinsuke Nakamura defeated AJ Styles by Pinfall |
Singles match for the WWE Championship | 25 minutes
13 | Elias Concert Segment; interrupted and chokeslammed by
The Undertaker | N/A | 5 minutes
14 | The Undertaker defeated John Cena by Pinfall | Singles
match | 15 minutes
15 | Roman Reigns defeated Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul
Heyman) by Pinfall | 25 minutes
Usually after the final results table, I have my card for
the next PPV, which I don’t know whether I would do the Greatest Royal Rumble
or Backlash, which are ONE WEEK apart, or both, and I honestly tried to make up
a card, but ALL CHALLENGERS I WOULD HAVE ROMAN FACE ARE ALREADY IN THAT IC
TITLE LADDER MATCH, and I have no idea who Nakamura could face, Braun and
Neville would already be scheduled for a RAW tag title match, you shouldn’t
waste Bryan v Nakamura on a show like this, and Bryan shouldn’t lose clean this
early into his return anyways, and shouldn’t be in a World title program this
early, and I also take into the account the trades I’d do in the new superstar
shakeup, and it’s just way too damn confusing and complicated. So for now, I’m
just going to wait, not make a card for the next shows, and see what WWE does.
I think I may do the Greatest Royal Rumble, if it’s even televised, and just do
some general bullet points for the big 50-man Rumble match, since I am not
going to keep track of 50 men, especially as Backlash is the next Sunday. We’ll
see what happens.
For now, I hope you all enjoyed reading my post on
WRESTLEMANIA 34. When the cards are finalized, **be sure to look out for my
“How WWE Should Book Greatest Royal Rumble 2018” post the day before on April
26th, and of course the dual-branded “How WWE Should Book Backlash 2018” PPV post
the day before that on May 5th**. Tell me what you liked and didn’t like, and
what from the post you’d like to see on the show.
ENJOY WRESTLEMANIA, AND GET READY FOR IT ALL TO BEGIN AGAIN.
