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**Hey everyone! Ever since Night Of Champions 2015, through multiple accounts, before major WWE pay-per-views every month, I’ve come on here and booked the cards to make them as exciting, intriguing, and best possible scenarios for the future. I do both NXT and main-roster pay-per-views, as well as the occasional big milestone RAW or Smackdown weekly show. Without further ado, here is how Fastlane 2021 should be booked!**
> MY FASTLANE PPV POSTS OF PREVIOUS YEARS:
* 2016: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2016/02/how-wwe-should-book-fast-lane-2016.html
* 2017: https://howwweshouldbookit.blogspot.com/2017/03/how-wwe-should-book-fast-lane-2017-raw.html
* 2018: https://old.reddit.com/r/fantasybooking/comments/83hm3f/how_wwe_should_book_fastlane_2018_sdlive/
* 2019: https://old.reddit.com/r/WWE/comments/az67c5/how_wwe_should_book_vol_60_fastlane_2019/
> KICKOFF-SHOW
* Hey, they never care about the pre-show, so why should I? I’ve gotten to the point where if they haven’t announced or made a kickoff match official by the Friday night before (when I start writing these), then there’s no point in even bothering writing anything for it. Besides, it’s the same shit every time. I tell you the usual kickoff panel, I tell you that they run down the card and give their predictions and hype up the matches, and all that stuff. It’s tired, it’s boring. So from now on, unless they’ve got something concrete, I won’t be including kickoff shows in these posts anymore.
Have fun, PETER ROSENBERG.
> MAIN SHOW:
* VROOOOOOOM. Imagine this scene- you’re in your brand new 2021 Hyundai Elantra, racing home from work after a weekend at work that required you to go out of town. You look in your side mirror and uh oh, you see an impending WWE-branded Ford F-150 with monster-truck wheels gaining speed behind you! Oh no you’re gonna be crushed and die!!! You absolutely floor it and your neighborhood is in sight. You make a sharp U-turn and almost swerve off the road but you regain control. You’re almost there and you’re about to make it into your driveway when all of a sudden, a 100-ton piano falls from the sky and smashes into your windshield, blocking your path, just as you were about to reach your ultimate destination. And also you died from that.
That is Fastlane 2021 in a nutshell. We are 3 fucking weeks from WrestleMania and somehow we need a PPV. WHY WHY WHY.
As always, this isn’t what I think WILL happen, this is what I think SHOULD happen. Now, let’s distract ourselves from the real world with some pro wrestling.
**1ST MATCH: Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon (Singles match)**
* Listen… I don’t think even WWE knows if this match is happening at this point. On RAW, Shane McMahon for some reason had green Nickelodeon slime at the ready and poured it all over Braun Strowman while telling him that he grew from a stupid tree. Then WWE took it off the Fastlane preview on their website. Then, on SmackDown, as the commentators were going over the Fastlane lineup and what you can expect, THEY SHOWED THE GRAPHIC FOR THE SHANE/BRAUN MATCH AND ACTIVELY PROMOTED IT LIKE IT WAS HAPPENING AND BACK ON. Then the next day, after having re-added it to the PPV preview on their website, it disappeared again the next day. What is going on here? Why is it so hard to be transparent about what’s going on? But you know what ladies and gentlemen, I like to cover all my bases. So I say that if it does happen, it’s going on first, and if it doesn’t happen at all, then hell, disregard everything I’m about to write and tell me to go fuck myself in the comments. **Strowman is out first, followed by The Best In The World, Shane O’Mac. The match gets 5 minutes**. In the early stages, Shane is toying with Braun like he has been doing in recent weeks. He’ll tease locking up with Braun, and then step back, and then get a few jabs in when Braun’s guard is down, Braun will try to grab him, but Shane will roll out of the ring and proclaim that he needs to warm up. Shane is playing these mind-games with Braun until at about the 3 minute mark, Braun has finally had enough. Shane has Braun in the corner and goes up top for a Coast to Coast, but Braun ROARS up to his feet, and grabs Shane by the throat and sends him crashing to the mat with a chokeslam. Braun finally has Shane exactly where he wants him, but Shane rolls out and tries to run away. Shane is damaged now though, and Braun is just that little bit faster as Braun catches up to Shane and plows him down with the RUNNING STROWMAN. **Braun clears off the announce table and is about to put Shane through it, but Shane once again plays it dirty as he takes a page out of his book from this past RAW, and grabs a hold of the nearest cameraman and “accidentally” trips over the cord and sends him into Strowman. Strowman is knocked loopy and Shane lays him out across the announce desk. You know what’s coming next. Shane heads back into the ring and hits the Leap of Faith Elbow Drop through Braun, through the announce table. Both guys are absolutely DEAD now as the ref counts both men out**. I wish they hadn’t blown their load with the Shane elbow drop spot on RAW, cause I had this finish in mind for weeks now. But hey, what the heck. It gets more impressive every day he gets older. I feel like this match with these two guys with this kind of finish would be better suited to start the show off than to happen late in the show when everyone is tired and it’s more likely to piss people off. Here, you have sort of an unorthodox opening match for a PPV but it gets people hot right out of the gate with the big elbow drop spot, and it creates a sense of chaos of what the show could be like from this point forward. Idk, the second I saw this match announced it just immediately screamed “Opening match” to me. With a finish like this, obviously things aren’t over between these two. **At WrestleMania, this would lead to either a Falls Count Anywhere or Last Man Standing match between these two**. Whatever WWE thinks would work better. I’d go with FCA, since that seems to be Shane’s speciality at Mania after that match with The Miz. He could jump off the big pirate ship they’ve got at Raymond James Stadium. I know Kevin Owens said he wanted to jump off it too, so maybe they can take turns, one jump off the pirate ship per night. Or better yet, they can both jump off at the same time while holding hands.
**Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon ended in a Double Count-Out when both men were unable to answer the count of 10 after Shane delivered a Leap Of Faith elbow drop through the announce table**
* We get an ad for WWEShop, followed by a backstage interview with Randy Orton, who talks sinisterly about what he’s willing to do to KICK Alexa Bliss out of his life. We then get a video package for our next match.
**2ND MATCH: Big E (c) vs. Apollo Crews (Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship)**
* I generally dislike when the champions come out first, but it happens here for a reason. Big E is out first, making his entrance and holding up the IC Title, when Apollo Crews attacks him from behind and slams him multiple times on the steel grate at the end of the ramp. Apollo is trying to get the advantage before the bell has even rung. Apollo clotheslines Big E to the ground and then gets the steel steps and slides back into the ring to try and recreate what took Big E out in the first place all those weeks back, and Apollo drops the steps, and we hear a thud. It’s presumed that Big E was once again crushed by the steps, and we get a few seconds where time stands still, but then the camera pans over to the outside and Big E isn’t even there. Big E comes out from under the apron on the other side of the ring and lays out Crews from behind. The bell rings and both guys are starting the match already wounded. **The match gets 15 minutes**. Because this feud is very personal, this match includes no headlocks. They beat the hell out of each other for the time they’ve got and it is very story-centric, with Apollo pulling out the high-flying and Big E pulling out the power moves for high drama moments. **The match ends when Big E is in control and making a comeback. Big E looks to take Crews out of commission for good as he runs the ropes to try for the Suicide Spear, BUT APOLLO SIDESTEPS AT THE LAST SECOND AND BIG E GOES FLYING OUT OF THE RING AND CRASHES AND BURNS ONTO THE MISPLACED STEEL STEPS THAT HE NARROWLY AVOIDED BEFORE THE MATCH. Big E absolutely CLUNKS on top of the steps and is lifeless. Crews foiled pre-match attack ended up paying off in the end, and Crews presses E back into the ring, hits the Standing Moonsault, and gets the pin to become the NEW Intercontinental Champion of the world.** Maybe it’s too early to take the title off of Big E, and maybe Apollo could’ve ran with this character and been built up a little bit more before getting this title shot at a PPV, but why not strike while the iron is hot? Apollo Crews was stagnant for 5 YEARS in this company until he got the one thing (and I hate to say it) that 99% of this roster lacks: A CHARACTER. It’s most likely that the plan is for a rematch at Mania where Big E wins it back in front of fans for a big pop, McIntyre-esque situation there. I try to craft these posts to fit what it looks like WWE is going towards somewhat but it’s really foggy looking for most of the Mania plans. If I had to bet money on it, I’d have these two rematch at Mania, perhaps with a stipulation attached.
**WINNER by PINFALL and NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion: Apollo Crews**
* We get an ad for WWE Supercard, and a video package for our next match.
**3RD MATCH: Alexa Bliss vs. Randy Orton (Intergender match)**
* All I need in this match is one spot where Alexa puts Orton in a headlock, and Orton just stands up and Alexa is lifted off her feet BECAUSE SHE’S SHORT, PAL! Then Orton pushes her off the ropes and they do the tackle dropdown spot but Orton doesn’t even have to jump, Alexa just runs right through his legs. And then they proceed to have about 742 false finishes and Canadian destroyers until eventually The Fiend makes his return and hits a 450 splash on Orton through the core of the earth. Alexa bliss then jumps through the hole in the Earth and hits a Twisted Bliss on Orton in outer space for the pin.
**WINNER by some weird shit, yo: Alexa Bliss**
* We get an ad for new series’ that are coming to the WWE Network on Peacock.
**4TH MATCH: Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Singles match)**
* Rollins is out first, followed by Nakamura. **The match gets 18 minutes**. Rollins gets the win with a Curb Stomp. Nakamura isn’t going to be factored into any WrestleMania plans if we’re honest. Rollins getting the win here, then Cesaro beating Rollins at Mania to solidify him as a top singles guy, would be much better than if Rollins just took a random loss to Nakamura. Cesaro can come out during this match and try to screw Rollins.
**WINNER by PINFALL: Seth Rollins**
* We get a WrestleMania countdown ad, 20 days away!
**5TH MATCH: Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler (c) vs. Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks (Tag Team match for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships)**
* Bianca and Sasha are out first, followed by the champions, Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler. **The match gets 10 minutes and we get formal ring introductions. It ends as Bianca and Nia are legal, and Bianca shows off her incredible strength by lifting and hitting a KOD on Nia Jax. Shayna Baszler comes in to try and prevent the pinfall from happening, but Sasha is quicker and snatches Shayna with a Backstabber into a Bank Statement. Sasha locks in the hold as Bianca pins Nia Jax and we’ve got brand new Women’s Tag Team Champions**! Nia and Shayna is so far past it’s sell-by date as an act and I’ve said that in nearly every post since they became a thing but I don’t care. If you do not put every title you possibly can on Bianca Belair, but more importantly Sasha Banks right now, you are absolutely stupid. Sasha is YOUR most mainstream woman right now, across all platforms. Seeing her decked out in gold as Women’s Champ and Women’s Tag champ once again is the best selling point you have going into Mania. These two could be a fantastic team together for the short-term until they eventually crumble and start really getting at each other’s throats as Mania gets closer. And yes, I’d have them hold the titles going into their match, because we don’t get the Tag Champ vs. Tag champ dynamic as much as people think, and that would just make things all the more intriguing.
**WINNERS by PINFALL and NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions: Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks**
* We get an ad for WrestleMania tickets on sale.
**6TH MATCH: Riddle (c) vs. Mustafa Ali (w/ Retribution) (Singles match for the WWE United States Championship)**
* Riddle out first, followed by Ali with Retribution. **The match gets 13 minutes and we get formal ring introductions. The match ends when Riddle capitalizes off an 054 that Ali misses and rebounds off the ropes with a knee to the back of the head, knocking Ali out for the 3 count**. Retribution eat Ali post-match and mercifully this stable ends as the wet fart it was.
**WINNER by PINFALL and STILL WWE United States Champion: Riddle**
* We get a video package for our next match.
**7TH MATCH: Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus (No Holds Barred match)**
* Drew is out first, followed by Sheamus. Drew wins with a Claymore Kick immediately. You can’t make your WrestleMania babyface challenger to the World Championship look any more dominant than this. I had it being a complete squash before it was announced as No Holds Barred so I kind of feel like it’s wrong to do it now with this sort of stipulation, but hey, that’s their problem for adding it! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
**WINNER by PINFALL: Drew McIntyre**
* We get one more teaser video for WrestleMania in 20 days, and then a backstage interview with the special enforcer for our main event coming up next, EDGE. Edge is asked whether he will remain neutral, or whether he will make things particularly difficult on either Bryan or Roman. Edge talks briefly about what it means to have the opportunity to be the enforcer of such a high-caliber match, and promises that, being the ultimate opportunist, he will make the most of this opportunity. Edge’s music hits as the interview wraps up and he makes his entrance before either of the two men in the match.
**8TH MATCH: Roman Reigns (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Daniel Bryan (Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship with Edge as Special Outside Enforcer)**
* Edge is out. Bryan is out, followed by Roman Reigns and his special council in Paul Heyman, and his bloodline in Jey Uso. **The match gets 20 minutes and we get formal ring introductions**. We get lots of callbacks of spots and moments to their match at Fastlane from 6 years prior, only this time the roles are reversed with Reigns being heel and Bryan being full babyface. We get interference from Jey foiled by Edge. The ref gets knocked down as Reigns accidentally Superman punches him when Bryan moves, so Edge has to rip the referee shirt off the ref’s back and come in to be the unofficial official. If he’s ready, Jimmy Uso could return here to foil Edge’s agenda and we get an Usos double team on Edge. Maybe even a TRIPLE POWERBOMB by Roman Reigns and The Usos on Edge through the announce table. The Bloodline is The New Shield. Roman wins in the end with the guillotine choke. This all sets up Roman and Edge at Mania, possibly with Bryan added in a triple threat being that he’s going to eat the pin like breakfast, lunch and dinner. Or, you could do a deal with Bryan challenging Reigns on Night 1, Reigns retaining, and we get Roman/Edge in the main event for Night 2, OR as a third option, you could do Bryan vs. Edge on Night 1 where the winner goes on to challenge Reigns for the championship of the universe on Night 2.
**WINNER by SUBMISSION and STILL WWE Universal Champion: Roman Reigns**
> FINAL RESULTS:
No. | Results | Stipulations | Times
:--|:--|:--|:--|
1 | Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon ended in a Double Count-Out | Singles match | 5 minutes
2 | Apollo Crews defeated Big E (c) by Pinfall | Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship | 15 minutes
3 | Alexa Bliss defeated Randy Orton | Intergender match | ????FIEND???? minutes
4 | Seth Rollins defeated Shinsuke Nakamura by Pinfall | Singles match | 18 minutes
5 | Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks defeated Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler (c) by Pinfall | Tag Team match for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships | 10 minutes
6 | Riddle (c) defeated Mustafa Ali (w/ Retribution) By Pinfall | Singles match for the WWE United States Championship) | 13 minutes
7 | Drew McIntyre defeated Sheamus by Pinfall | No Holds Barred match | 10 seconds
8 | Roman Reigns (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Daniel Bryan by Submission | Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship with Edge as Special Outside Enforcer | 20 minutes
Well, that was the post. Thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you liked and/or what you didn’t like from the post, and what from the post you’d like to see actually happen on the show tomorrow night! **Be sure to look out for my next post for the upcoming PPV, “HOW WWE SHOULD BOOK WRESTLEMANIA 37: NIGHT 1 AND NIGHT 2”**. They will likely be separate posts, but we’ll see what happens. It’s the grandaddy of ‘em all. Get ready. Where it all begins again. Enjoy the show tonight, everyone.
