How WWE Should Book Fast Lane 2017 (RAW)

 

Hey everyone! Every month, days before PPV's happen, I share my thoughts on the show and card and how I would book the show that has unexpected swerves, returns, debuts, and a memorable show that would leave fans happy. If you want, you can read some past editions of these by clicking on my name and searching. I have been doing these for every PPV since Night Of Champions 2015. I hope you enjoy, and this is how I would book Fast Lane 2017. The last PPV before Wrestlemania.

PRE SHOW:

• We get the usual kickoff panel. At this point, the panel has switched around so much I don't know who's in it. A Social Media Lounge segment with RAW Women's Champ Bayley is announced earlier in the day, using #AskBayley. The panel gives their predictions for the show, and they hype up the matches, and we get video packages as usual. There is an interview with Gallagher, and he drinks tea during his interview and say's he'll become CW champ. After a while, we get to our kickoff match.

KICKOFF MATCH: Rich Swann & Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar & The Brian Kendrick

• Swann is out is out first, and then Tozawa joins his partner. Dar comes out and then Kendrick and Dar walk to the ring. Dar has Alicia FAAAUUX with him. The match goes 10 minutes, and Swann and Dar knock each other out of the ring. Kendrick is distracted and screams at Dar, and Tozawa runs up and rolls up Brian from behind to get the win for the babyfaces. Kendrick is livid post match, continuing the feud between him and Kendrick.

WINNERS: Rich Swann & Akira Tozawa

• The panel discusses the feuds on the show some more, and then we get the Bayley SML. The panel gives their final predictions, and then we get to the main show.

MAIN SHOW:

• We get the opening video package and pyro.Before the "Then Now Forever" graphic even shows, we see Triple H arriving in a limo alone to the arena. He walks in the backstage area, and we see a number of random backstage people hang stuff up on a coat rack. HHH hangs his suit up on the rack, and then as he walks away, the camera focuses on a black hat beneath the rack on the floor. This is the final show before WM. I'll have my WM33 card for the RAW side of things at the end of this post. You can check out my SD card from my Elimination Chamber post at the end: https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/5tixo6/how_wwe_should_book_elimination_chamber_2017/

1ST MATCH: Neville (c) vs. Jack Gallagher (WWE Cruiserweight Championship)

• Gentlemen Jack is out first followed by the King Of the CW's Neville. The match goes about 12 minutes. Austin Aries is on commentary. He teases that he "overheard the scoop backstage" that something big is happening tonight. They have a fast-paced action packed match, and Gallagher stalls frequently to press his mustache. One spot in the match sees Gallagher laid out in the middle of the ring, and Neville is on the apron. He springs off the top rope for a 450 and Gallagher gets up and nails Neville with a dropkick, and Neville dies. The match ends when Gallagher begins to make a comeback, and works Neville down. Jack nails Neville with a massive uppercut, knocking him into the corner. Throughout the entire match, Austin Aries is on commentary, constantly knocking Gallagher. He can't stand how cheesy he is, and says he's insulting to the CW division. Neville is in the corner, and Aries says "it's time to show everyone who the Greatest Man that ever lives truly is". We hear Double A drop his headset, and he runs down the ramp to the ring. Gallagher runs to hit his Gentlemen Running Corner Dropkick, and Aries slides into the ring, and jumps Gallagher. The ref calls for the bell, and Aries beats the hell out of JG. Neville comes to grab Aries, but Aries nails Neville with an Enzuguri. Neville is down. Aries grabs Jack, and throws him out of the ring. He dismantles the announce table, and punches Gallagher on the table. AA looks at Gallagher and then looks at the ring curtain. He walks over and opens it and then pulls out a ladder to a huge pop. Neville is up now and takes out Aries with a Suicide Dive. Neville sets the ladder upright, and then the three way brawl breaks out. The entire CW lockeroom spills out. Tozawa, Ariya Daivari, Cedric, Gulak, Metalik, Dorado, Ali, Dar, Swann, Kendrick, Perkins, Sin Cara and Nese all run out, and it's an out of control brawl. Aries manages to escape the frenzy, and climbs the ladder. He does a 450 SPLASH ONTO THE SEA OF MEN. Everyone falls down, and then Aries stands tall, holding up the title, and then throws it at Neville. The ladder was brought out for a reason, as you'll see in my RAW WM card at the end of this post. It would be an 8-man ladder match for the CW title at WM. There would be qualifying matches over the next weeks on RAW & 205Live. Neville would obviously automatically be in. The qualifying matches would see Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak, Cedric Alexander vs. Ariya Daivari, Gallagher vs. Noam Dar, Tony Nese vs. Rich Swann, Kendrick vs. Dorado, Aries vs. Sin Cara, and Perkins vs. Metalik in a rematch of the finals of the CWC. The bolded names would win their matches.

WINNER BY DQ: Jack Gallagher

• We get an ad for the Hall Of Fame.

2ND MATCH: Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass (RAW Tag Team Championships)

• The Club is out first followed by Enzo and Cass. Cass and Gallows start off in a Big Man Battle. They trade shots. The match goes 13 minutes, and it ends when Enzo goes wild on Anderson. Enzo is hyped up and cocky and slides and grabs a mic. He runs back to the ring and then says that he's a Certified G, and he and Big Cass will win tonight and become Tag Champs headed into Wrestlemania. Cass tries to calm Enzo down and then Enzo's cockiness costs them as Enzo is cut off mid-sentence as Anderson clubs him from behind, and Gallows clotheslines Cass over the top rope. Anderson rolls up Enzo from behind and gets the pin, further teasing tension between Enzo and Cass. I think it would be an AWFUL idea to break them up, because I don't think one could survive without the other at the moment, but it seems to be where WWE is headed. The Club retains on the Road to WM.

WINNERS and STILL RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

• We get a backstage interview with Austin Aries. He talks about his return earlier and his ambush on Neville and Jack Gallagher. He says he's the Greatest Man that ever lived and cuts an awesome promo. He says he's joining the 205Live roster, and he wants Neville at Wrestlemania. Little does he know, Foley makes the qualifying matches for the ladder match the next night.

3RD MATCH: Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

• These two had a 5 star classic at the Royal Rumble, so why not have them face off on PPV once again? I guess they just want to get everyone on the show. Nia is out first followed by Banks. The match goes 7 minutes. Plain and simple, Nia Jax is not a good wrestler. She was brought up from NXT FAR too early. It looks like the plan is Nia/Charlotte/Banks/Bayley at Mania. Since Nia won the last PPV match, and Nia has been pinned clean before for some reason, Sasha is laid out and Nia climbs the turnbuckle to the middle rope. She goes for a Bonzai Drop looking move, but Sasha gets up and nails Nia with a backbreaker off the middle rope, followed into the Bank Statement. Nia taps.

WINNER: Sasha Banks

• We get an ad for Tapout

4TH MATCH: Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

• It's a few minutes past 9:00 EST now, and it's time for the match that could steal the whole damn show, (honestly with the exception of Roman vs. BRRRRRRRRAAAAAUUUUUNNN). We get a video package before the match, and a backstage interview with Samoa Joe. He says he'll kick Sami's ass and take names tonight, and he knows how to play the game. Joe leaves and his music hits and he makes his way out. Joe waits in the ring in position. Zayn's music hits to a big pop. He doesn't come out at first, but then he slowly makes his way out from backstage, staring straight at Joe. He walks down the ramp slowly at first, and then rips off his hat and jacket and springs off the top rope, killing Joe with strikes. The ref has to separate Sami. The bell rings and Sami comes out hard early with multiple running corner dropkicks to Joe, and on the fourth time, Joe floors Sami with the Uranage. The match goes 18 minutes, and Joe gets the win after he nails Sami with 2 consecutive Muscle Busters. 1.2.3. After the match, Joe celebrates, but Zayn is still getting up. Joe is insulted by this and goes to the outside and grabs a chair. He starts stomping down Zayn and then is about to swing the chair when FINN BALOR'S MUSIC HITS. The roof is blown off the Bradley Center as Balor's music hits. He doesn't come down the ramp, though. Joe has the chair ready and Balor appears behind him from out of nowhere, not in his Demon Paint, just in his leather jacket. The crowd chants "Holy Shit". and refs and trainers pull Joe away from Balor as he goes to try to help up Zayn. Zayn hoists himself up in the corner and then gets his face in Joe's face, as the former NXT Title rivals exchange insults. Balor screams not to touch Zayn, and then out of nowhere, Finn runs and jumps Sami in the corner, attacking him. Joe joins in the frenzy. Joe and Balor were in cahoots, and tricked Zayn. Joe and Finn beat the hell out of Sami, and then they stand tall as HHH's music hits, and he comes out on the stage clapping. Hunter Hearst Helmsley's NXT-Graduate Monster Stable has begun, and so far it consists of Kevin Owens, Samoa Joe, and Finn Balor.

WINNER: Samoa Joe

• We get an ad for Wrestlemania 33, which on the day of Fast Lane would be 27 DAYS AWAY. After that, we go to the Kickoff panel for their thoughts on the show so far.

5TH MATCH: Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte (RAW Women's Championship)

• These two had a GREAT match at the Royal Rumble. We get a video package before the match and Bayley is out first followed by Charlotte and we get formal ring introductions. The match goes 15 minutes. It's fairly obvious that WWE is having Charlotte retain her PPV streak until WM, where I suppose the plan is for Bayley to have her big moment and win it back in the 4-way. Charlotte wins after Nia Jax drags a lifeless Sasha Banks whom she destroyed after Sasha beat her earlier. Bayley is distracted and worries for her friend, and Charlotte twirls Bayley around and hits Bayley's own BAYLEY TO BELLY, and then follows up with a Natural Selection to become a 29-time RAW Women's Champ. This sets up the 4-way, and teases the tension further between Sasha Banks & Bayley, as Bayley was distracted by a wrecked Banks.

WINNER and NEW RAW WOMEN'S CHAMPION: Charlotte

• We get a segment of Stephanie talking on the phone backstage. There's a knock on the door, and in come Cesaro and Sheamus. They want a Tag Title shot since Enzo and Cass lost earlier in the night. Stephanie is about to give it to them, but then in come Enzo and Cass and Cass is particularly angry as Enzo doesn't talk much. Stephanie makes a match between the two teams for RAW the next night in an TAG TEAM AMBULANCE MATCH, where the winning team gets a Title match at Wrestlemania. I know Ambulance Matches are godamn stupid, but I feel like it would be a fun refreshing match type to have, especially with these two teams. They could do some fun spots. You obviously have to put both members of a team into the Ambulance win. You need to beat your opponent off to the hospital to get a shot at Wrestlemania. Assuming that both teams are going to get a shot in a 3-way, one member of each team could go in, or just a clean victory by a team if not.

6TH MATCH: ROMAN REIGNS VS. BRAUN STROWMAN

• I am legit unbelievably excited for this match. Braun has improved unbelievably, and that has shown when he had a GREAT MATCH with BIG SHOW a few weeks ago on RAW. These two fighting on house shows has gotten positive reviews as well. Reigns is out first followed by Strowman. The match goes 23 minutes. There are some crazy spots in this match such as:
• Reigns and Strowman brawl to the outside, and Reigns goes for a Superman Punch but Strowman hoists Reigns up in a Gorilla Press and throws him through the announce table.
• Roman spears Braun through multiple barricades in a frenzy
• STROWMAN HITS AN ELBOW DROP ON ROMAN IN THE RING FROM THE TOP ROPE

After the two have beat the hell out of each other, Roman hits 2 consecutive Spears on Strowman, but Braun isn't going down. Roman nails a Superman Punch on the Monster among Men, and he wobbles but still doesn't fall. Reigns goes to the corner and yells OOOOOAHHH, he punches the ground like he does, and then as he cocks his fist, GONG. The lights go out for a few seconds, and then come back on and we see Undertaker's hat in the middle of the ring. Reigns looks paranoid and doesn't know what to do. He creeps over and picks up the hat and inspects it. Out of nowhere, Braun clubs him from behind, and then hits his Running Powerslam for the win. Let's be honest, Strowman needs a win WAAAY more than Roman does, especially because I'd have him beat Taker at Mania, ONLY IF THAT'S HIS HEEL TURN. Braun celebrates and leaves, but Roman is still in the ring. If you don't fly Taker in, then just have Roman go crazy and destroy ringside, or if you do have him at the show, have the gong go off again, the lights go out, gong, and have Taker's hand come up through a hole in the ring, and have him drag Roman to death, or chokeslam him into the hole. Shut up you marks, I AM VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO REIGNS/TAKER. There's a lot of ways they could go with it.

WINNER: Braun Strowman

• We get an ad for WWE Shop. We go to the announcers and then we get the graphic for Goldberg vs Owens, and a video package.

7TH MATCH: Kevin Owens (c) vs. Goldberg (Universal Championship)

• We hear Paul Heyman's voice, and he walks down and announces that he will be a guest on commentary for the match. He talks about how his client doesn't care who wins tonight, because either way Brock Lesnar is getting a UV Title match at Mania, and he'll conquer either Owens or Goldberg especially. Kevin is out first, and looks very nervous, but sweeps it off. The hype builds up for a bit as finally Goldberg's drum beat hits and he comes from his locker room and makes his entrance. The match goes 20 minutes HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Funny. Everyone things it will be 30 seconds, and it will likely be short, but not that short. Not long either. We get formal ring introductions, and then the bell rings. Owens looks all tough at first and does the "Bring It On" motion toward Goldberg. Goldberg goes to Spear Owens, but Owens runs out of the ring and then grabs his title from the timekeepers area and retreats into the crowd as Goldberg looks on, angry. Owens stays in the crowd for the 10 count and he celebrates as he thinks he's retained safe by Countout. His music hits, and all of a sudden Mick Foley comes out and restarts the match, this time as No Countout. The crowd pops and Owens looks livid. He scampers back to the ring and they both go to their own corners. The bell rings once again, and Owens looks at a random fan and yells at them, and then turns around to see that Goldberg is immediately running at him for a Spear. Owens just dodges the spear, and Goldberg stops his momentum by grabbing the turnbuckle, and as Owens dodges Goldberg, he intentionally just pushes down the ref, and the ref calls for the DQ. Owens goes again and holds up his title and his music hits, but now Stephanie comes out and announces that the match will restart one more time, as a No Countout, and if Owens DQ's himself, he'll be stripped of the title. One more time Goldberg and KO go to the corners. I was thinking a few things could happen here: either Brock Lesnar just immediately runs in and F-5's Owens, and then Goldberg hits spears and a Jackhammer to win the belt, and Brock and Paul would later explain that wasn't any form of assistance to Goldberg, but rather Brock Lesnar decided that it was time to be a champion again, and he wanted to make sure that's the match he got with GB at Mania. Or of course, Goldberg could just hit 9 Spears on KO, followed by a Jackhammer off a ladder through 8 Flaming tables to win the title, because he's motherf*cking Goldberg. Either way, I'd say it's obvious that 'Berg becomes champion here since Lesnar/Goldberg for the UV Title is the biggest match WWE can put on for April 2nd. I'd guess Jericho returns the next night on RAW, and the US Title feud between the former JeriKO best friends is begun for WM. Sigh, how I would have loved that to be for the UV Title... maybe even Title for title... US vs Universal... the Lesnar attack on Owens would also set up the feud I would have after Lesnar wins the title at Mania, in Owens vs. Lesnar.**

WINNER and NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: Bill Goldberg

MY WRESTLEMANIA 33 CARD (RAW)

• Universal Title: Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (Loser Retires?)
• US Title: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens (Street Fight)
• RAW Women's Title: Charlotte (c) vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
• Cruiserweight Title: Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries vs. TJ Perkins vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Rich Swann vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Jack Gallagher (8-Man Ladder Match; I feel if any title deserves the ladder match this year, in what seems to be becoming a tradition, it's the CW title. Imagine the spots that could happen... plus, I really just want to see Gallagher jump off a ladder holding his Umbrella, and just float down somehow).
• Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
• Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker
• Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe (MY GOD)
• Sami Zayn vs. Finn Balor (No.1 Contendership to Universal Title).
• Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale (RAW Superstars): Bo Dallas, Big E, Big Show, Curtis Axel, Epico, Goldust, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, Primo, R-Truth, Titus O'Neil, Xavier Woods (New Day could kick off Mania, and announce they're in the match. The surprises would still remain Boogeyman & Road Dogg, and, a new one I just thought of, only if you're gonna have him win it, GLOOORIOUS BOBBY ROODE).
• Pre Show: RAW TAG TEAM TITLES: Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo & Cass vs. Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Rusev & Jinder Mahal

Well, that's how I would book Fast Lane 2017. I hope you enjoyed! Tell me what you liked and didn't like, and what from this post you would like to see actually happen on the PPV. Be sure to look out for my "How NXT Takeover: Orlando Should Be Booked" the day before that, and then the multiple-part(?) HOW WWE SHOULD BOOK WRESTLEMANIA 33. It's gonna be a doozy.